Baloma

I discovered this around the turn of the millennium. I was in a department store here in London and someone had sprayed it. I could've sworn the entire floor smelled of it as he was walking from one department to another. I followed him to ask what he was wearing, but he disappeared and I was crushed. Two weeks later the same thing happened. This time I made sure to see what he'd sprayed and immediately bought it.

This is one of the most beautiful, underestimated, yet emblematic male scents in the Western World. It's a combination of Green Irish Tweed and Fahrenheit (due to the musk, moss, and violet accords), and Aventus (pineapple) - and the sum total is far better than the individual parts, in my opinion. And, bonus, while the other three may fail to get me compliments on occasion, this one never has. Not ever.

Kiton's variant, the now sadly discontinued Black, is a deeper version of this, while the more swiftly discontinued, blink-and-you'll-miss-it summer release Napoli would make anyone swoon.

Shakespeare said that brevity is the soul of wit. Here, then, is a very witty review:

The cumulative effect of this fragrance produces a YSL Opium accord with the vanilla turned way up.

Delicious, decadent, and durable.

There's a current vogue in the culinary world for mixing sweet and savoury to produce delectable new flavours. (North Africans have been doing this for centuries). Now Shay & Blue have translated this to tremendous effect by creating Salt Caramel.

This fragrance starts off with a mouthwateringly syrupy toffee popcorn accord that slowly becomes ever more irresistible as the tonka bean note joins the fiesta. The savoury sweetness (or sweet savouriness) continues unabated through to the fragrant, elegant sandalwood base. Gorgeous.

This is a sophisticated gourmand. It is not so literal as to be a food smell. Rather, it is a multilayered, meticulously-constructed perfume in the best French tradition (but with a British twist). It lasts a tremendously long time and projects admirably. I fancy it might also do wonders for layering with other fragrances. Perhaps a spray of this with Shay & Blue's Sicilian Limes? Lemon caramel tart anyone? Yes please!

Now sadly discontinued, Lavender Palm encapsulates the warmth, wealth, and whiffs of Los Angeles in a bottle.

The heat of LA, its summery flora, and even the wafts of buttery suntan lotion carried in the air are all here in this eau de parfum, which builds to an almost gourmand crescendo towards the end of its cycle in a manner not unlike Caron's Pour Un Homme.

This very transporting and tenacious scent has been much maligned and misunderstood during its commercial life. It will doubtless gradually gain in popularity now that it's off the shelves.

Housed in a prickly bottle to match Velentino’s current obsession with studs, this is an unexpected treat. I first smelled and dismissed this as a Dior Homme rip off on a shopping expedition last month here in London when it was being aggressively debuted in department stores. A few hours after that initial spray the fragrance was still going strong but began displaying a much more gourmand, starchy, farina-like bouquet not dissimilar to L’Artisan’s Vanille Absolument's dry down. This is what the caramelised hazelnut effusion of Gianduja cream does no doubt.

Many, many hours later, when the scent was much closer to the body and in the midst of its death throes, what was left was that familiar, masculine - dare I say it - Valentinade which harkens back to the now-discontinued Very Valentino For Men with its musky, woody, leathery savour.

Olivier Polge, who turned the world of masculine perfumery on its balding head when he unleashed Dior Homme nearly a decade ago, has now loosed its little brother on us (or older brother, since this could have been an earlier iteration of Dior Homme hidden away in the lab’s fridge for years). With Valentino Uomo, he seems to have reconciled the conflict between ultrafeminine masculinity and a more assured, ambrosial maleness that, like the bottle housing it, might look bristly and dangerous on the outside, but is actually quite lovely and loving at heart.