In my 3rd year of university, I decided to spend my spring break in NYC. Some of my friends from high school were studying there, so I had a place to crash while I explored the city. I was just getting into perfume, and was enamored by
Yesterday Haze having been a fan of the branding of Imaginary Authors (I was studying design). I had a small sample that was almost depleted, and so I made a stop at scent bar NYC, where at the time, you could pick one free sample when you visited. As I was a bit socially awkward, I didn’t want directly ask for that sample, so I asked the associate for fig perfume recommendations and they placed in front of me
Gris Charnel Eau de Parfum. I was a bit disappointed, but smelled it regardless and enjoyed it, but didn't think much of it, as Yesterday Haze was still on my mind. I ended up asking for a sample of Gris Charnel since the associate was busy with other customers, and I was in a rush.After my trip and back at uni, I left the sample on the shelf above my desk in my dorm room. Night after night, the scent would waft down from the shelf in front of me and I would smell the scent as I studied late into the early hours of the morning. At first, I thought it was the remnants of my Yesterday Haze sample, also on the shelf, but over time, I began to realize that the smell was something distinctly spicier and less powdery. Curious, I began wearing Gris charnel, liking it more and more, and eventually ordering a larger decant once I had finished my sample. It became my new fixation. Whereas Yesterday Haze had a warm comfort that felt old and dusty, like your favorite corner of a library, Gris Charnel was bolder, spicier, and yet distinctly calm, unfazed. I felt like an imposter wearing it, like a pre-teen in a leather jacket twice their age, the perfume wearing me instead. It became my go-to for school formals, clubs, professional events, any situation when I needed a confidence boost, to feel bigger and more confident than I was. Consequently, so many memories of dancing with friends, day trips to the city, date nights, and academic milestones became inseparable from this perfume. It was with me at graduation, all of my interviews, and the full bottle was my first purchase after my first paycheck at my job. Over time, my confidence grew and so did my familiarity with the scent. It felt less and less like a costume and more something I could naturally emobody. When I take my friends or my partner to perfume stores, I always spray a test strip with this scent and ask for their opinion, and they furrow their brows and recall some memory we’ve shared.I can’t say that I’ll ever find a perfume that I wore as frequently as Gris Charnel. Partly because my collection at this point beckons for me to reach for neglected scents, and partly because some of those formative experiences will never happen in the same way again. In a way, I grew into the person who I pictured could wear Gris Charnel, maybe from wearing it so frequently, or maybe with the steady maturation of age. Even though I say it’s my signature, I don’t wear it significantly more than any other perfume in my collection; however, it will forever be tied up with all these memories I have, and the memories people have of me. There’s something intimate in that: to be known by a smell. Or maybe it's not intimacy but distance: to be known by a projection of yourself, like an actor known by a character they portrayed. But just as clothes are an extension of your self-concept, so too does fragrance have its own way of affecting how you might see yourself, and how others see you. It's something personal, wrapped up in our emotions of the past and olfactory associations, and yet, there’s also something deeply unspecial about liking a perfume recommended by an associate for its popularity. On this platform alone, I am 1 of 6,400 who own this scent, and 1 of 73 who have decided this is their signature scent. But perhaps what makes perfume so special is not the exclusivity of some new synthetic molecule, or the rarity of a limited release fragrance, or even the high cost. Perhaps its our own experience of it. The same formula that is so rich with memory for me is another's binned test strip that they have no memory of. The only constant in perfume is the variance in reaction, in memory. It is our individual unique experience that takes it from science to art.