Is it okay to dictate how others perceive scent?

I don't mean to be controversial, but on the first day I moved from Fragrantica to Parfumo, someone replied angrily to one of my reviews. I reported it to the management and it was resolved. (I thought about quitting though lol) Just like with Fragrantica, I feel like there are a lot of people who reply angrily to reviews of men's perfumes when their favorite perfumes are not well received. I wonder what Parfumo thinks about this? I don't want it to end up like Fragrantica...

For example, when someone rated a certain Gaultier perfume as "weak scent," a lot of people commented angrily. Well, the scent is not weak, so it may be strange, but in the end it's subjective, so I don't think you need to worry too much about it. There are also people who make fun of people who like Gaultier fragrances. Just because you like a fragrance for the masses doesn't make it less valuable, and just because you like a niche, strong fragrance doesn't make you an "expert."

I felt like it could be used a little more gently, but is that okay according to the rules?

If we accept that our preferences are different from others, we shouldn't need to dictate how others should feel.

Some people can be really snobbish, but...that`s their problem, not mine. Block. Ignore. Laugh. I`m not going to dwell on all the negativity because I think it will bring me and others down. This is the downside of most social media and unfortunately the fragrance community as well: it gives a platform for voicing opinions to both well-meaning people as well as jerks, and there`s no way to filter out trash. 

You make a really good point. But unfortunately there are so many people with so many options. I say unfortunately but maybe it is fortunate. If we all had the same opinion it wouldn’t be much fun at all.

I used to get all angry about people thrashing reviews or statements but hey what can you do? Make a deal out of it, which is probably not worth your time?

I also get that there’s some snobbism. You really need to stand above that. If you like JPG, more power to you! It’s your life you know.

I agree with you, it's all very subjective so I think it's weird to disagree with another person's review as long as their review is about their own experience.  If I say a perfume is bad, you can disagree.  But if I say I didn't like it, you can't disagree that I don't like it.  I decide if I like it or not, you decide if you like it or not, but we can't decide for each other.  So, I think it's important that reviews and replies are clear that we're just sharing our own experiences, not trying to decide if something is objectively true, good, etc.  

I ignore negative reviews of perfumes I already own and enjoy because I couldn't care less what others think if I like it.  And thankfully I'm also not bothered if people think my taste is "basic", childish, etc.  I like bath and body works, celebrity fragrances, cute bottles, and anything that I can get for a good deal.  I (usually) want to smell like candy or fruit or both.  I never claimed to be sophisticated or controversial, and I don't lose a wink of sleep over whether other people think my taste is uninteresting.  Fortunately, I think the people who actually judge other peoples' taste are a vocal minority, and most of us appreciate hearing the different opinions and preferences in the community.  I may not be one to pick up something super spicy or musky or minimalistic, but I still enjoy hearing about it!

Fragrance is one of the most subjective sensory experiences possible.  Not even just how scents themselves can cause different reactions, but in the way that everyone's skin/body chemistry can change the performance of a scent.  It's not just a superstition of fragrance fans like us, it's really true that some scents just work on some people and don't work as well/the same on others.  Not to mention that the ideal "performance" is different for each person: some people want maximum longevity and sillage, others want something much more gentle.  Some people want a linear scent and others want something that changes over time.

I do think things are much better here culturally than Fragrantica even if there's sadly still some very aggressive and overly-sensitive people everywhere.

If someone is confident about loving a perfume that you don't like, he or she doesn't need to get angry about you not liking it, so my guess is that these angry people are just not confident about their own taste if someone else doesn't like what they like.

Their problem, not yours . 

This is good topic of yours. I think it is normal that some may defend "their favorite" smell. Because as we are all different, you may not like the smell of some other specific people. I mean the smell of specific perfume they like, but you don't. It's subjective anyway.

Yes, exactly! I've always kind of wondered what the end goal is, when someone disagrees with someone else's review. What are they expecting the other person to say? "Ah, now that you say that, I change my mind. I guess I liked it/didn't like it after all!"

I think the issue at the end of the day is that scent is so much more subjective than even other forms of art. I can disagree with someone on whether I like, say, a painting or a film, but at least in those cases I know that I'm seeing the same film or painting they are, I can reference particular lines of dialogue or scenes or colors. I'm never going to say "well, I didn't like this scene..." and have someone say "huh, really? I didn't see that scene at all when I watched it", that'd be crazy. But if we're talking about perfume, it's very normal for people to not interpret scents the same, to have one person say "I didn't like this note" and someone else say "that's weird, I didn't smell that note at all".

I say all that but ultimately the real issue is just to treat everyone else's opinions with respect. We don't know what's going on in someone else's nose. But thankfully I think people are in general good about doing that... I agree with Akira that I've seen some problems, but the majority of people are chill. We can all use the reminder though.

Totally agree with your whole comment @jettodesu - but especially this part, on not caring what others think/unapologetically enjoying what you enjoy, including "basic" fragrances!

They get such a bad rap in the fragrance world. I've written about this before here, on why "basic" fragrance isn't bad (and how mass-appealing can be a sign of something really great). 

Thank you for reiterating what I think gets forgotten often in this community (not specifically Parfumo, just this hobby in general)!

That blog post is great!  I forget where this conversation was had now, but I recently talked with someone on here about how liking something just because it's popular, and disliking something just because it's popular, are functionally the same philosophy.  You're still dictating your opinion based on other people and not your own original perspectives.  The truly "basic" people and the anti-basics are really more similar than they realize!

It's natural that in any hobby, you get so deep into the details that you forget the bigger picture.  I'm reminded of this hilarious ProZD sketch about what it's like before and after you join a forum for a new hobby: as you gain more knowledge and more awareness of minor aspects of the hobby, you enjoy it more and get to appreciate so many new elements buuuut you also tend to become more esoteric and potentially condescending.  If you don't tend to enjoy fragrances that are popular, if the most important factor in a purchase is how unique or rare the fragrance is, go on ahead-- be as esoteric as you want.  Just don't lose focus and turn it into an attempt to objectively judge something you may not have even given a proper chance to!

I'm just reading this now and I've thought a lot about the philosophy/psychology/sensory variability that is inseparable to perfume enthusiasm. 

Kittea makes a great point; it's possible to percieve perfumes profoundly different than the next person. Absolutely nobody has the exact same taste in perfumes! Skin chemistry matters, past experiences matter (deeply), generational associations are huge,  and climate even can vastly alter a fragrance (or our perceptions).

This hobby far, far exceeds music, literature, cinema, and even food in what it has to offer from a highly subjective and highly personal standpoint. So many people are so consumed with how others agree or don't with their experience and preferences, it's really a shame.

Not to be too sassy (I do find it amusing though), but my two daughters have always had a much better grip on this concept than a large portion of fragcom. I've been exposing them to perfume since they were young; they frequently disagree with my husband and I on fragrances, but they understand that it's normal to do so...and actually welcome it (it's fun to test things as a family). They also, naturally, disagree sharply with each other and are extremely different people, as most siblings tend to be 😂 It's as if a large fraction of adults in fragcom never surmounted this mental/emotional milestone in life, and were never taught to. 

Fragrantica has major issues, but certain FB groups, Reddit posts, YT producers and Instagram people make Fragrantica appear composed, wise, and considerate. Some of the proclamations I've read/heard about certain perfumes and the sort of people that wear them are delivered with hatred and vitriol.

I'll also say this, and I hope it isn't pushing it too far...but I've always believed this to be true: perfume is a luxury (even though it's so dear to many of us and we can't fathom being without it, it's still a luxury ultimately) and attracts people with dark triad traits and malevolent dispostions. Alternately, it has the potential because of it's evoactive sensory potential, artful/meaningful nature, it also attracts the most incredible and kind people too. 

The grievous thing is that often unhealthy people tend to take out their issues on others. 

I'm very late, but I wrote replies to everyone who commented here, but then deleted them. Because I thought they were too long.However,Thank you for everyone.👍Then, after about three months, I thought about it calmly.

I understood almost everyone's point, but I didn't quite understand the part about "I think it is normal that some may defend 'their favorite' smell." If someone says, "I don't like this at all" about my favorite scent, I just think, "Well, I guess there are people who do that." (It's possible I misunderstood the meaning of this sentence.)In my eyes,If anything, that doesn't seem very normal to me.To begin with, I don't really understand why "defend."

>So many people are so consumed with how others agree or don't with their experience and preferences, it's really a shame.
Yes. Especially since it's the internet, you'll never meet them in your lifetime. lol Even if your tastes don't match with someone you don't know, there's no problem.

>The grievous thing is that often unhealthy people tend to take out their issues on others.
Yeah,That can happen to anyone.I feel like maybe the line between self and others is blurred.

I used to work in customer support for skincare products, and it seems that what you put on your skin is closely tied to a person's identity. That's why people who wear high-end cosmetics from department stores mistakenly think they're more valuable and look down on skincare and cosmetics from drugstores.
So, even though perfume and cosmetics are luxury items, I feel like they can easily become authoritarian and blur the line between self and others.
OK,perfume is associated with authority, so it's only "normal" that this would happen, but personally, if you're confident in yourself, I don't think you'd get upset about someone else's review. Let's say someone reviews my favorite perfume and says, "This perfume smells really cheap and childish." That person might simply like complex, muted scents. So, then I don't respond, "What? Childish? Are you saying I'm a child because I wear this perfume?Don't you understand how good this perfume is?"

If you feel that your existence is damaged when others don't appreciate you, well... I don't know. Maybe you should try therapy before perfume. Before seeking recognition from others, you do learn to accept yourself,Right?That's what being an adult is.😉

I'm not adequately caffeinated yet, so pardon me if this comment is a little clunky.

I agree, either someone's identity is too embedded in their perfume/skincare/fashion (whatever) or it's simply not strong enough to withstand external criticism...or both.

This hobby (or lifestyle, truly) further illustrates how far people can vary with their preferences. And I suppose it's taught me quite a lot. My favorite fragrance is still Angel Eau de Parfum , so if that alone doesn't teach you to move on after reading/hearing criticism nothing will 😂 My skin regarding what other people say has thickened, considerably! I was once told in a FB group that - "You don't look like someone who'd wear Angel!", I think it was a compliment.

We all do judge though, at least somewhat. Anyone who claims they never fall into stereotyping is full of it. But we can learn to be more mentally flexible about all of this, I guess that's what I'm trying to say ☕️