Rose Noire Giorgio Valenti 1985 Parfum de Toilette

My dear swan, this is really a bizarre thing. Just the box alone! Pure 80s vibe. And then this screechingly pink glitter rose on the bottle. Like a kitsch novel to spray on. The beautiful Rose Noir in her latest tear-jerker "In the Chains of Passion," or something like that.

This scent is truly intense. I've never smelled a comparable powder note. It's as if a gigantic, pink powder puff has been slapped right in your face, and again, and one more time. SLAP - SLAP - SLAP. After that, everything gets thoroughly rubbed in with rose soap RUB RUB and then another hit of powder on top. Help help!! Just too much of a good thing. And it gets worse over time. Suddenly, I saw her before me. Like a pink marzipan loaf in a robe that is from another world. Plus a five-strand pearl necklace, aquamarine blue painted eyes, and a hat as big as a wagon wheel. Barbara Cartland! This scent, published under her name, would have fit like the proverbial glove.

Whatever, off to the souk with the "beautiful" Rose Noir. SLAP!