Juicy Couture Juicy Couture 2006 Eau de Parfum

Two parts rococo bouquet, one part fruit salad shortcake. Assertive white florals are backed up by juicy watermelon and caramel-crème. It’s an ornate picnic spread in the Versailles gardens. Classy, but playful. Juicy was mature enough for me to feel like I was a landed lady back in the 2000s, but sprightly enough to wear to class. And both facets endure, as I have kept returning to her in the 2020s (as a land-less, title-less spinster). I am a lifetime member of the Tuberose Hater Gang, and somehow I like – maybe even love – it here. The bubblegum blossoms somehow don’t trigger the reflexive nausea I got with Vilhelm’s Moon Carnival. There’s also nothing dainty about Juicy: this is a strongt one with full-day endurance and a lingering trail. Honestly, she’s a classic. I’m ready for her renaissance.

My mother got me this – totally unprompted – for my sixteenth birthday, so if a frilly-ribboned perfume called “Juicy” can impress a very frugal, very conservative Roman Catholic it’s doing something right.

Mental Snapshot: Beauty and brains: perfect, almost to a fault. Y2K Emma Woodhouse, Jane Austen Regina George. Chanel skirt-suits, monogrammed tennis whites, matching silk pyjama sets. So type A, she’s never received any grade less. “Marie Antoinette never actually said let them eat cake,” She says, though she cites the Coppola film her favourite.

tl;dr: handsome, clever, rich