Chalou (Gold) Lidl 2008

After lingering around Lidl for a while without ever finding a tester for this perfume, I finally decided to buy it. I really like Madame Glamour, and the comments here gave me hope for something J'adore-like that might smell a bit softer and more floral.

No one mentioned cucumber scents, and as far as I remember (and I believe I have a relatively good scent memory), J'adore doesn’t have any cucumber notes.
However, Chalou smells exclusively of cucumber for the first half hour (and with a massive sillage, the entire living room smells of cucumber!), and then the fragrance oscillates for another half hour between cucumber, rose, and plastic peach shower gel.
Once the cucumber phase is over, the sillage is unfortunately so weak that the floral notes are only perceivable if I hold my nose directly to it, and even then they are still overshadowed by this artificial peach-apricot scent (the good old "peach lactone" - that’s exactly the same aroma that about 80% of all skincare products for dry skin smell like, and the reason why no one wanted to eat the apricot yogurt in kindergarten. And why most people can’t tell peach and apricot aromas apart). Well, the note is also present in the original - but by no means as overpowering, and J'adore has a few more floral notes that I can’t recall exactly off the top of my head, but I know they are missing here. You can already tell from the rose note that it is much flatter and duller here, more jam-like than floral.
After almost 3 hours, the fruity phase is mostly over, leaving a not unpleasant but very weak and slightly synthetic sandalwood finish with a remnant of flowers, especially rose, and vanilla. The plastic peach is still there, but it now somewhat blends into the other fragrance notes. It reminds me of some hand cream, I think one with marigolds, with a small hint of D&G - The One. This could be a decent scent if you could smell it without holding your nose directly to it.

So, if you want to smell like cucumber for a good three-quarters of an hour and then for 3 hours like Schauma 7-Flower Hair Treatment / Garnier Kids Shampoo / Kür Wheat Protein Conditioner for little money, you are well served here.
I unfortunately associate this specific scent note with hair dye, where the peach aroma is preferably used to cover the smell of ammonia. As a perfume, I find it correspondingly strange (also as gummy bears) and somehow... shabby? But apparently, many perceive the scent as "well-groomed" - for me, it’s one of those scent notes that you feel like you can taste on your tongue after a while, as if you had licked soap.
Overall, I have a constant impression of damp, muggy air. Something between a garden center and a shower stall.

As a substitute for J'adore, I don’t think it works at all. It doesn’t last particularly long, and the jasmine note, which was actually the reason I wanted to warm up to J'adore, is barely present and completely overwhelmed by cucumber and peach. The whole thing reminds me more of "Sunflowers".
Evaluating it as an independent fragrance, I find it horrible, artificial, and cheap. I’m really not a snob, but this smells like a kids' shampoo and not like a perfume.
Only the base is okay, but also quite weak.
At least Chalou Gold, like the other Lidl perfumes I’ve tested so far, doesn’t have that cheap scent-typical burning alcohol note that some La Rives and co. have. Although I would probably find that less bad than the cucumbers at the beginning.
Well, I have spent more money just to test a fragrance before.