Ganymede Marc-Antoine Barrois 2019 Eau de Parfum

That fresh “new spaceship” smell. Yeah, I see what everyone says. Metallic, soapy, and chemically sweetened. It has a mechanical cleanliness to it, like warm computer air or peeling the plastic off a new iPhone. Ganymede is at once totally mundane – maybe even boring – and, on second thought, unusual. It’s the scent of vacant space: a freshly-constructed cubicle floor, a brand-new CT scanner. Which makes it uncanny to catch emanating from a real, live human. Like if my partner smelled like this, I’d be worried I was some hapless Turing test plaything. Feels like the genderless version of ELDO’s The Ghost In the Shell. Longevity does not jest, which is unusual for something so clean and skinlike.

Mental Snapshot: Uh oh! You accidentally used your robot’s soap. Correction: your gender neutral android companion’s soap. It’s soap meant to sterilize vulcanized silicone and titanium alloy, not manflesh. But, surprisingly, not at all unpleasant. You can feel it extract every pore, erase every wrinkle. You’ve never had such a good skin day-y-y-y- -- -- y- - - (You’re buffering).

tl;dr: beep boop