Invictus (Eau de Toilette) by Rabanne

Invictus 2013 Eau de Toilette

Lilsniffles
01/10/2022 - 01:36 AM
24
3Scent 10Longevity 10Sillage 4Bottle 4Pricing

Invicdon't.

Mid-20s, male, just for your information!

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As the title says - Just don't do it. Stop it. Get help.

This fragrance embodies everything you get slapped on your neck in a barbershop after everything has been perfectly shaved. Basic, boring, Axe-typical, penetrating, and musty fresh. Every cheap scent that is supposed to smell "masculine" smells exactly LIKE THIS.

Even if you don't want to stand out, just want to smell like something, this weird trumpet bottle is a bad purchase because you can still smell this stuff from two kilometers away. It's as if a horde of crazed disposable razor-wielding barbershop employees is coming from afar, aggressively throwing Molotov cocktails filled with Invictus and Sauvage Elixir, just to completely obliterate the sense of smell of humanity. You smell neither grapefruit nor jasmine or anything else. The only thing you smell is the queue in front of the barber and the breath of disappointed passersby whispering "Oh what a shame, he spent money on this" into their masks.

Absolute no-go. The scent clings to you, to your clothes, to everything that exists. If you hug your wife once, she gets pregnant later & has the baby, even the newborn will smell like Invictus. You will still be noticed by staff in the White House, even though you are somewhere in Romania. And even those in the White House are disappointed.

Compliment scale: 1 out of 10. That one employee from the barbershop thinks it's good.
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10 Comments
Steven2903Steven2903 3 years ago
I almost fell off my chair laughing.
Thank you so much for the fantastic review **top**!
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Simme1006Simme1006 3 years ago
I really like Invictus, but your review had me almost falling off my chair from laughing :) Awesome!
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ToxyToxy 4 years ago
This is the best comment I've ever read here. Thank you for that!
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SchdivouSchdivou 4 years ago
Just the grand image of a bunch of wild barbershop employees swinging disposable razors and throwing Molotov cocktails filled with Invictus and Sauvage Elixir is worth a trophy 馃槄
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LilsnifflesLilsniffles 4 years ago
Well, this review is based on experiences and not just "mainstream = bad." I'm actually a fan of Ultra Male myself. That makes me even more basic than people who wear Invictus. I just find this scent incredibly overused and... boring. It's a fragrance you've smelled a thousand times.
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NordiqueNordique 4 years ago
1
Clearly - you absolutely HAVE to change your barber! ;-)
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ExUserExUser 4 years ago
1
Trophy for humor :D I stumbled upon this since I don't know Invictus at all.
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4ajbukoshka4ajbukoshka 4 years ago
I don't even know which part I liked best. Great review, thanks for that! I think I'd really like this one, but it also has a stinky/musty touch that reminds me of sweat.
I'll throw in a Molotov-uhh-trophy.
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ViseronViseron 4 years ago
5
I can't smell a barbershop vibe here either. For me, it would be a clean, sharp scent with lavender, citrus, wood, and aromatic notes. Invictus is just an undefinable sweet mass with a bubblegum aroma.
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Philipp1997Philipp1997 4 years ago
7
Which barbershop smells like that? 馃槄 So far, I've only encountered lemon cologne on my neck everywhere.
Giving this scent a 3/10 seems a bit harsh, and I also find the compliment scale completely off.
I feel like this review comes from the idea that mainstream = bad. I think that's a bit unfortunate; it dilutes the ratings.
Still, the review is very entertaining to read! :D
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