24
Invicdon't.
Mid-20s, male, just for your information!
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As the title says - Just don't do it. Stop it. Get help.
This fragrance embodies everything you get slapped on your neck in a barbershop after everything has been perfectly shaved. Basic, boring, Axe-typical, penetrating, and musty fresh. Every cheap scent that is supposed to smell "masculine" smells exactly LIKE THIS.
Even if you don't want to stand out, just want to smell like something, this weird trumpet bottle is a bad purchase because you can still smell this stuff from two kilometers away. It's as if a horde of crazed disposable razor-wielding barbershop employees is coming from afar, aggressively throwing Molotov cocktails filled with Invictus and Sauvage Elixir, just to completely obliterate the sense of smell of humanity. You smell neither grapefruit nor jasmine or anything else. The only thing you smell is the queue in front of the barber and the breath of disappointed passersby whispering "Oh what a shame, he spent money on this" into their masks.
Absolute no-go. The scent clings to you, to your clothes, to everything that exists. If you hug your wife once, she gets pregnant later & has the baby, even the newborn will smell like Invictus. You will still be noticed by staff in the White House, even though you are somewhere in Romania. And even those in the White House are disappointed.
Compliment scale: 1 out of 10. That one employee from the barbershop thinks it's good.
_________________________________
As the title says - Just don't do it. Stop it. Get help.
This fragrance embodies everything you get slapped on your neck in a barbershop after everything has been perfectly shaved. Basic, boring, Axe-typical, penetrating, and musty fresh. Every cheap scent that is supposed to smell "masculine" smells exactly LIKE THIS.
Even if you don't want to stand out, just want to smell like something, this weird trumpet bottle is a bad purchase because you can still smell this stuff from two kilometers away. It's as if a horde of crazed disposable razor-wielding barbershop employees is coming from afar, aggressively throwing Molotov cocktails filled with Invictus and Sauvage Elixir, just to completely obliterate the sense of smell of humanity. You smell neither grapefruit nor jasmine or anything else. The only thing you smell is the queue in front of the barber and the breath of disappointed passersby whispering "Oh what a shame, he spent money on this" into their masks.
Absolute no-go. The scent clings to you, to your clothes, to everything that exists. If you hug your wife once, she gets pregnant later & has the baby, even the newborn will smell like Invictus. You will still be noticed by staff in the White House, even though you are somewhere in Romania. And even those in the White House are disappointed.
Compliment scale: 1 out of 10. That one employee from the barbershop thinks it's good.
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10 Comments


Thank you so much for the fantastic review **top**!
I'll throw in a Molotov-uhh-trophy.
Giving this scent a 3/10 seems a bit harsh, and I also find the compliment scale completely off.
I feel like this review comes from the idea that mainstream = bad. I think that's a bit unfortunate; it dilutes the ratings.
Still, the review is very entertaining to read! :D