Vlad Dracul Sixteen92 2017 Parfum

Dear Count,
I sincerely hope you are not expecting any miracles from me, which I should perform in your absence at the venerable residence in Transylvania. Maintaining the old walls, however, proves to be far more difficult than I initially assumed.
Although I opened all the leaded glass windows wide immediately upon my arrival and the fresh scent of the dense forests soon flowed through the halls, it was unfortunately impossible for me to tame the smell of the dark earth that is thriving in your cellars. Rather, it seems that a fermentation process has already begun down there. Patchouli liqueur-like vapors continuously waft up the worn stone steps, causing the Transylvanian firs to soon tumble out of the windows again.
And then there are all the heavy trails of opiates. Oh, must you always be inebriated? Your polygamy, dear Vlad! These corridors will never shine! I scrubbed the stones for so many hours, added musk to the mopping water, and now everything is sweetly soapy, even the small black amber inclusions in the terrazzo floor of the ballroom, everything dissolves in this brownish earthy opium foam, including myself. I’m sorry, I’m dizzy from all the murky vapors, dear vampire. I will likely move on.

(With thanks to Chizza)