GRL PWR Toni Gard 2018

Blinded by the bright red.
With my thoughts completely elsewhere.
Slippery surface due to improper handling of the spray head by previous testers.

All wondrous coincidences leading to the inevitable catastrophe.

So it happened in the drugstore.

First of all, I apologize again for my clumsiness to the lovely employee!

But let's take it step by step.

Today, I realized that certain days can be full of surprises.
It all started in the extremely early morning hours.

"The full moon is maybe spooky and has a court!" said my better half, just before I was about to finally say goodbye to the previous evening in my sleep. Lunar dialogues of a special kind.

Conditioned this way, strange dreams naturally didn’t take long to arrive.
Exhausted and grumpy, I headed to the gym after the dreadful alarm went off.

After the sweat-inducing workout, a rather cold shower due to technical defects was the only thing that promised cleanliness.

Now well-circulated, off to shopping and - why not - satisfying the curious scent drive.
Done and done, an extremely old acquaintance in the drugstore brought a smile to my face at a special price. Yes, even the matching shower gel was more than a bargain!

Lost in memories, I noticed too late the wooden handle of a broom between my legs.
Sounds strange?
It was!

My angelic better half thought she could afford a joke and present me with a fitting chassis.

Of course, I was startled.
Naturally, I gasped for air.
Logically, another customer was disturbed, who consistently vented her weekly frustration about her racing heart.

"That's just our new house broom," my dear mischief-maker semantically clarified, causing the look of the drugstore colleague - let’s affectionately call her Waltraud for simplicity - to darken, wishing us mentally to Zanzibar.
Her manifold verbal insults naturally flowed in during the eagerly anticipated announcement of a nasal demise.
Presumably, she would have been the brightest candle in the feuilleton department of the QVC media house.

The worst was yet to come.

Loaded with both bargains, I spotted what was probably the brightest red in the fragrance universe.
It was supposed to be the tester, which hid the brand and name upside down.

Good heavens, curiosity has famously caused many a hangover...

What kind of scent direction could it be?
Surely not the latest craze in the men's sector?

Nightmares, morning grumpiness, icy shower, and broom fright made my synapses spin like a carousel.

I had to spray the juice!
And what a juice it was!

Here’s the description, after I awkwardly took the slippery bottle in hand, turned it around, and tried to decipher the cryptic name.

Smash!

From the tiled floor emerged the most overwhelming citrus fruits of the juicy vitamin bar.
Well fruity and glaringly sunny.

The attentive reader may wonder why all components of the fragrance pyramid are listed as almost bleached white.
Well, the lab's secret weapon of musk molecules makes the white giant look like a thumbelina.
Dude, you need sunglasses here, and for the nasal wall, SPF 50!

The roses oxidize like chlorine-bleached bed linens from past decades and grin Colgate-white.
The sweetness of the freesia also gets the right boost, and I’ll get to that. My blood sugar level was dangerously booming.

The ever-popular woody base for more than ten years needs the power makeup of Ambrox glamour.
All impurities, unevenness, yes even wallflower complexes disappear with the well-intentioned pipette.
Wonder-concealer to the rescue!
Because once in the nose (glue master), the surroundings no longer pay attention to acne, black pores, or greasy shine, no, no.
The brains rattle after the cold start like crazy and can initially only process vague outlines and try to remember the emergency number.

And because powerful girls can’t do without empty carbohydrates and sugar these days, they added the daily ration of ethyl maltol through the flower (the aforementioned freesia).
Sweetie, refined wheat flour, several novel sugar concepts, and palm oil glaze in one!
(That saves the greasy donuts and Sorbetello latte.)

The scent rumble oscillates between citrusy intense, battle matron-floral, and sweet-ethereal ambrox.

Sillage: entire store and walk of shame to the car.

Longevity: expensive, as jeans and shoes nearly had to be replaced.
After several weeks, the soles of the shoes still smell of it.

Bottle: congenially minimalist and immediately memorable. The coolest red in years!

Oh yes, before I conclude my thoughts on the miracle water, I’ll let a little AI play.
I just had to itch my fingers.

Waltraud chattered her scolding etiquette up and down in such a charming Hessian way.
Add to that her virtuously colored timbre, this cadence from falsetto to baritone.

Let’s have her dance and gasp to Hot Girl (new version 1987) by Sabrina.

It’s precisely these technically demanding distorted screams between the dull repetition of the chorus that create the perfect flow in four-four time.

I don’t have an enlarged cup size, but the scent buddy-buddily convinces me otherwise.
Thanks for that!

And how I can now keep up with the rhythm with Waltraud!

That’s what I call girl power!

Your wobbly dachshund Axio