Valentino Uomo Intense Valentino 2016

Esteemed ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to a new old episode of “4ajbukoshka and the Italian.” Today, we are taking a look back to the year 2020, when the world was still in such order that one at least thought 2021 would be better.
For those who already know the two Valentinos or are not interested in an anecdote: Essential information about “Uomo Intense” can be found in the paragraph after next.

It’s 2020 and Tshajbukoshka needs a new handbag, yes: she really does need one, because her (only) one is irreparably broken.
She actually wanted to buy a black bag, as black is known to go with everything, but since black, on the other hand, doesn’t even make up a tenth of her wardrobe, Tshajbukoshka threw her resolutions overboard before she even smiled at the red handbag with the unusual pattern and the studs.
“Valentino? So cheap? That’s strange. Well, it must have some kind of flaw, but who cares. I like it.” - she told the Italian that very evening, you know: THE Italian, Signor Il Herzensbrecher, who picked her up from work and of course immediately noticed her new handbag and also commented on her choice of the rest of her outfit. He remained, a gentleman through and through, not only charming but also highly witty and clever.

“But you do realize that this bag is a work of the other Valentino?”
- “Which other Valentino? Train station and suitcase thieves!”
“Signorina, turn up the seat heater and lean back, because here you get exclusive insights into the high art of handbags, perfected, how could it be otherwise, by US, US ITALIANS!”
- “Is this starting again? (Just recently he tried to convince me that Italians invented coffee, did he not expect that his pseudo-barista nonsense would be refuted within seconds with facts and dates.) Let’s hear it - and do let me know when you’re finished, Signor Trappatoni.”
“Well... Valentino Garavani and Mario Valentino share many things: they are Italians, have a knack for fashion, use the brand name Valentino, however... not both are happy about it.
Mario Valentino, who passed away before our time (in 1991), you might call the Banksy of the fashion industry, because he used the name Valentino to deceive the uninformed, like the Signorina here in my passenger seat, sto cazo, and he succeeded brilliantly.
Valentino Garavani took legal action against it, but lost, because otherwise a certain Mario Valentino, more comparable to a namesake plumber than to one of the last greats, would not have been allowed to continue to presume to use this great name. Have I mentioned that one of my grandfathers was named Valentino? (The other was or is named Romeo. Yes, that fits.) Don’t get me wrong, Signorina. Mario Valentino makes good bags for the middle class, but Valentino Garavani is una sensazione vivente! This man simply has class!”

Class is also what this Valentino here has.
I stand corrected: it is the RIGHT, the one true Valentino, Valentino Garavani.
The bottle personally reminds me of the studs of the “Rockstud” (bag), for which there are also matching shoes, pumps with straps, a dream.
The color, reminiscent of leather, falsely signals that something dirty, wicked is hiding here? Far from it.
The contents of the bottle are high-quality, noble, sweet, heavy, and on an attractiveness scale just as hard to surpass as the Italian delicacy that later ends up in the passenger seat of his own car.
It fills the space, not just the car, but also the (how do you open the windows here?), with its presence, it cannot be overlooked and one cannot help but notice it (and secretly drool over its words).
This man is loud (sometimes he could turn down the volume a bit, but that’s what you get when you surround yourself with an Italian, haha) and self-confident.
In the end, you just want to cuddle him when he lets himself be carried into his own car completely drunk, where he then falls asleep with a stuffed animal in his arms.
“Valentino Uomo” in its Intense version fits perfectly into the times: a man who can also show his androgynous, soft, sweet, and vulnerable side without even thinking about being stripped of his masculinity.
He is at most a macho at first glance - and the second glance is often very rewarding.