Voting for void...

As if 2015 had not already blighted me enough with fires and floods, it had another nice surprise for me to savour during its last days.

Dior having probably concluded that old crones (myself included) had their fair share of Poisons thus far, decided the time was right for breeding a bunch of young witches under some alluring incubating neon lights. So it announced the launch of Poison Girl at sometime during January of 2016.

And this is where strange things started to happen.

It doesn't matter if I'm going to like the perfume, although I have to admit that I'd most likely headbutt the butthead responsible for its creation at any given chance. So Monsieur Demachy, you better give Northern Greece a wide berth if you don't wish to find out how hard headstrong heads might be.

What matters however is that the fragrance has already almost 50 "reviews" on its page in Fragrantica and I bet they will double before 2015 exits the scene. A good deal of them is scolding Dior/LVMH for taking it too far with Poison flankers, while another fraction, probably belonging to some different age demographic, is bellowing that "haters gonna hate" stuff, with both sides communing their case with great fervor. What's most unsettling however is that there's only a couple of dispassionate voices marking the absurdity of rating a fragrance you have not smelled yet. Which leads me to conclude that next to haters, spoilers gonna spoil, no matter what.

What matters even more is that a dozen people have already rated Poison Girl's sillage and longevity and nearly twenty of them decided that they either love, like or dislike it. And while the love/like/dislike part could be a reference to the perfume's idea and/or concept, how on earth could someone decide that a yet-to-be-launched perfume has enormous sillage is way beyond my ken. The only possible explanation seems to be that the "enormous sillage" votes came from minds stormed by enormous stupidity.

I believe that any administrator with an iota of common sense and self-respect left should have already kicked these clowns to oblivion, for no site needs this kind of members and this kind of absurdity. Unless it's mere numbers that matter the most, in order to boast for being the most prominent place in a particular field, based on visits and traffic. But quality and quantity are rarely components of the same equation, be it perfumes or anything else.

Don't get me wrong, I'm an ardent supporter of freedom of speech and I wholeheartedly believe in outspokeness. But try to imagine the bottomless pitfall my mood plunges into whenever I encounter this amount of indifference about rationality.

And then there's this.

Votes here are cast about the only thing they should be cast for; the bottle's (un)aesthetics.

The comparison makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I vastly enjoy being a member of a fragrance-loving online community which comprises sane people. And sad because some of these people have to deal with a non-negligible number of imbeciles whenever they dare to visit some other sites in the name of diversity.

The whole thing somehow reminds me of David Bowie's epic hoax of "Nat Tate: An American Artist 1928–1960", which made many otherwise "art-educated" members of New York's glitterati to fall for it and speak with confidence about their profound insight of a non-existent painter.

Ziggy Stardust was always an impish figure sent from Mars to troll some pompous smart alecks of this planet into ridiculing themselves.

It also reminds me of the countless times I witnessed guys arguing about which one is the best between two cars they have never driven. And since this kind of talk is usually triggered by brands like Lamborghini and Ferrari, I guess they'll never have the chance to put their claims to the test for that matter. But I'm quite sure this "tiny" detail will not prevent them from spreading their omniscient twaddle to the world.

I cant stress enough how frustrated I am with Ziggy's aracnid companions for not terminating these dudes' hogwash spree by glueing their big mouths shut with their cosmic webs...

Rating the sillage and the longevity of a fragrance which is not launched yet is one of these things that make me adamantly believe that humanity is doomed and messed up beyond repair.

This is not funny. Keeping in mind that some of the people who rated Poison Girl's performance have the right to vote and decide about my future along with yours, makes me wanna volunteer for whichever space colonisation program comes first.

Stupidity, being an entertaining laugh generator aside, can often be as terrifying as they come. And what's even worse is that no one can battle it if we're to believe "Don’t argue with idiots because they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

And speaking of Poison and reviews, here's an assortment of reviews about Poison.

First we have the kind where these two laconic, yet spot-on ones belong to.

1) Poison is heart stopping in the way Julia's heart ceased beating slowly when, seeing her beloved Romeo forever gone beside her, she drank the last drops of the powerful potion. It's fatal love, but still love. Dark and mysterious like real poison. The bottle is evocative: it's a blackened heart whose circulation has been interrupted by the deadly elixir.

A masterpiece.

2) This is the perfume that the Queen of Sheba would have worn when she went to visit King Solomon, this is the perfume that Helen of Troy would have used to seduce Paris and cause the Trojan War. Cleopatra, when she fell in love with Mark Antony, would have worn it.

It is awesome, inimitable, irresistible, packed with the most powerful poetic feminine sensual PRESENCE of any perfume. It is every woman's birthright and no woman has lived till she has worn it. It leaves Chanel No. 5 in the nursery. Men will be amazed by your womanliness when your wear it.

And then we have these "reviews", of which I kept their spelling the exact same way it was eeer...spelled.

1) it was a gift for an ex girlfriend. she said this is the fragrance of the dark girls, i like dark girls so i like this fragrance! my vote: 8,5/10

Chances that you believe everything your girlfriends say? My vote: 10/10

2) This year Poison turns 30 years :)

No kidding! And Opium turns 38. And L'Heure Bleue turns 103. And...

3) I bottle poison is beautiful; perfume fantastic!!I love poison

You bottle poison? And you think it's beautiful? Someone call the cops!

4) I am running out of this fast and wanted to replace it but it is too much.

Recently purchased Fatal snake classicby Jeanne Arthes

lots of people say it is like this so I can't to try it out

Fatal Snakes have a tendency to appear friendly before biting you in the ass. Beware!

5) Perfect for dark personalities. I for one love a lady with secrets. This poison is very potent for the right man.

Yeah, especially when imbibed.

6) I absolutely hate this perfume. It smells overpoweringly like incense. Yuck!

It's actually a sneaky buddhist attempt to condition you into, you know, Buddhism.

7) i love this fragrance. can men wear this Poison?

Ever thought of trying it without seeking machoism approval and testosterone reassurance?

8) is it true that Poison has been discontinued??? they dont sell it in my country anymore, i said to the girl at the store that i see it at usa stores, but she answered to me that it is no longer in production :(

Could someone tell me if it is true?? :(

She was either trolling you or just wanted to keep it all for her egoistic bitchy SA self.

9) a very big sorry to dior cant understand the hype, too strong heady and ridiculous scent, it smells very bad , had a bottle gav to my friend,cant satnd near someone who wears this

Dior accepts your very big apology.

10) I liked when my friend had it. It was great sent and I bought it for mysef, but I couldn't stand the sent on me:(

So you sent it away?

11) I had it when I was in the school.I love it.

Now I know everything I need to know about it! Any additional information would be so overwhelming.

12) For me, it smelled like real rat poison. Maybe it's me, I tried it in the store and my sister hated it and told me to wash my arm. From a distance, it was good, but when I got my nose closer, was ugh!

Maybe you are a hybrid with human arms and a rat's nose. And by the way, there's no fake rat poison.

13) it's an old smell i used 2 wear it in the past but i don't think i could wear it now it's tooo strong 4 me now

I guess that Poison Girl was made specifically 4U2WEAR now.

14) vomit worthy i almost did when i put it on my wrist the other day and could smell it right under my nose.....

just too much going on for me so many notes it also made me itchy i was hoping to find out what made me itch but there is just so many ingredients..

not for ppl with allergies or who like simple scents very very full on

IFRA, is that you?

15) I HATE IT....the bottle is nice...the name is mysterious and dark...the perfume is terrible...causes suffocation to the living and wakes up the dead

Now we know who we're gonna blame for the zombie apocalypse.

Yes, I know. I'm an awful person. I promise I'll make up for it in 2016...

Happy New Year everybody.