Calyx Clinique 2014

Parfumo inspires me to test brands that I have previously avoided. For example, Clinique. This is probably because I immediately feel ill when I see a white coat. But one should not let prejudices guide them, as they say. Still, I wonder how on earth one comes up with a company name like Clinique. “Le thermomètre clinique” is a fever thermometer and “un tableau clinique” is a clinical picture, and in a “clinique de traumatologie,” damaged bodies are patched up. I dismount from my bike and cheerfully enter the most prestigious department store in the city. At the moment, there is nothing to patch up on me; I just feel like testing a new scent. The white-coated lady at the counter is young and pretty, has a nice smile, and shows no understanding of my difficulties with the company label. “Calyx is a wonderfully fresh scent,” she chirps, brushing aside my friendly remark, and spritzes a tiny amount on my wrist. “Right now, it’s on special offer, and you get a pocket spray for free.” I try to focus on Calyx. The first impression is as fresh as it is fleeting. “And on the second perfume from Clinique, you’ll get an additional forty percent off today,” the white-coated lady continues, dutifully reaching for another bottle, but then, seeing that I’m serious about sniffing, she puts it back in place, flustered. “It smells pleasant, but not at all like grapefruit,” I try to engage her in a discussion. “Yes, and then we also have leftover gift sets from Christmas at half price,” I get in response, “a real bargain.” I take a look in the nearest mirror. Do I look that shabby? Well, my styling could be better. Calyx, by the way, could too. The freshness is gone and makes way for a subtle sweetness. “I’ll think about it,” I say, and I mean it. After an hour, the scent hasn’t changed significantly. It is light, but still noticeable, sweet but not sticky, a tiny bit fresh, not a girly scent but with a virginal appeal. So much so that I simply can’t imagine it ever getting on my nerves. In the advertisement of the well-known perfume store with D, it says that Calyx is full of surprises, dynamic and invigorating, extremely fresh and zesty... Extremely fresh and zesty is true, but only for two minutes, and as for the surprises, the positive thing is, there are no bad ones either. “Thus, Calyx crystal clear and energetically underscores the attitude of every self-confident, independent woman full of zest for life,” I read on, lacking zest for life myself. According to the Duden, an attitude is a “consciously adopted (contrived) physical posture” or an “affecting gesture.” All I can say is: “Whoa!” Regardless of whether it’s a deliberately provoked insult for sales strategy (which brings us back to being ill and makes the white coats make sense) or simply a translation blunder: “You deserve better!” I say to the innocent Calyx on my wrist. However, I doubt it can still hear me. It has nearly completely evaporated.