White Rose Floris Eau de Toilette

Both England's Queen Victoria and the last Russian Empress Alexandra loved "White Rose"; the current reigning Queen is said to have worn it at her wedding. Three crowned heads surely couldn't be wrong, so I ordered it blindly. The Eau de Parfum was not available to me, so I settled (not at all aristocratic) for the Eau de Toilette. I will spare the interested reader the logistical details of how I came into possession of this little water. However, after the first spray, dismay set in: was that all? For about a quarter of an hour, I smelled nothing at all, then a rather nice creamy white rose scent developed. The rose motor purred for about an hour, then it started to stutter and died.... logically, I had only acquired the two-stroke instead of the four-stroke engine! Still, I was disappointed. And this harmless rose water managed to enchant Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin? After all, according to Boney M., he was the "Lover of the Russian queen" (whatever that means). You wouldn't even lure a Borzoi out from behind a samovar with this!

Undeniably, fragrance preferences have changed massively over time. Never would a lady of the high nobility of that era have thought to spray herself with fecal, urinous, or sweaty smelling perfumes, or other excesses of the fragrance industry.

However, there is indeed a transformation that occurs within me when I wear "White Rose": my upper lip stiffens, I extend my finger while drinking tea, and suddenly I adopt an affected manner of speaking. Fortunately for those around me, this does not last longer than an hour, as long as the scent holds.

Anyone who wants to feel "not perfumed," but clean, well-groomed, and a bit distinguished will surely like this scent. In the long run, however, it is a bit too bloodless for me. After all, I am not a Romanov!