Vivacité(s) de Bach Les Fleurs de Bach
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The Bautzen Crime Novel
Film idea for the Bautzen crime novel (Part 1):
The corpse has mustard all over its face, the marking around the body is made of mustard, investigators are spooning mustard during the investigation, they go for breakfast at the Aral sausage stand, the prosecutor is pondering over mustard eggs whether the gardener grows mustard seeds.
The autopsy revealed that the victim has several bruises on the knees, elbows, and tailbone, which suggest a fall at the crime scene, on a trail of oil, egg yolk, vinegar, salt, and a hint of MUSTARD. Is the perpetrator trying to cleverly divert attention from themselves here?
(Prof. Dr. Luke Mostrich from Maastricht disrupts the investigation.)
The KSK*, from the big city, is to actively support the case after the TSK* and LSK* have run out of ideas.
*) Kühne Special Command, *) Thomy Special Command, *) Lion Special Command
Latest findings in the case: The female victim was in a relationship with a certain Heinz. Rumor has it behind shaky curtains that the relationship was complicated. The mismatched couple was only seen together happily and carefree at the ikea hot dog pumps.
Mysterious twist: Mustard is being pulled from all supermarkets in Bautzen; allegedly due to excessive, tear-inducing doses of isothiocyanates.
The criminal police cannot differentiate well enough through the process of elimination, WHICH is why the population is crying.
An ex-lover of the victim, Alain Dijon, speaks up: She claims she mistakenly sent him over the white sausage equator, to where the pepper grows.
Under acute suspicion is the local baker, Dietmar (Diddi) Doppelkorn, who always allows himself a little, but sneaky fun during "Buy 3, pay for 2 promotions" by filling the egg liqueur Berliner with mustard. The situation is getting messy!
A friend of the deceased, a beekeeper, felt shamelessly used and overlooked when she stood one day at his door, questionlessly filled his extractor with Bautzen mustard, and then proceeded to brush her salmon with the sauce.
Dramatic music plays from the speakers: Mustard Sally (O.S.T.)
You Take My Mustard, You Take My Mustard-Control
I Promise My Mustard, I Promise I Wait For You
It Mustard Been Love
All by my Mustard
Don't wanna be
All by my Mustard
Anymore
The corpse has mustard all over its face, the marking around the body is made of mustard, investigators are spooning mustard during the investigation, they go for breakfast at the Aral sausage stand, the prosecutor is pondering over mustard eggs whether the gardener grows mustard seeds.
The autopsy revealed that the victim has several bruises on the knees, elbows, and tailbone, which suggest a fall at the crime scene, on a trail of oil, egg yolk, vinegar, salt, and a hint of MUSTARD. Is the perpetrator trying to cleverly divert attention from themselves here?
(Prof. Dr. Luke Mostrich from Maastricht disrupts the investigation.)
The KSK*, from the big city, is to actively support the case after the TSK* and LSK* have run out of ideas.
*) Kühne Special Command, *) Thomy Special Command, *) Lion Special Command
Latest findings in the case: The female victim was in a relationship with a certain Heinz. Rumor has it behind shaky curtains that the relationship was complicated. The mismatched couple was only seen together happily and carefree at the ikea hot dog pumps.
Mysterious twist: Mustard is being pulled from all supermarkets in Bautzen; allegedly due to excessive, tear-inducing doses of isothiocyanates.
The criminal police cannot differentiate well enough through the process of elimination, WHICH is why the population is crying.
An ex-lover of the victim, Alain Dijon, speaks up: She claims she mistakenly sent him over the white sausage equator, to where the pepper grows.
Under acute suspicion is the local baker, Dietmar (Diddi) Doppelkorn, who always allows himself a little, but sneaky fun during "Buy 3, pay for 2 promotions" by filling the egg liqueur Berliner with mustard. The situation is getting messy!
A friend of the deceased, a beekeeper, felt shamelessly used and overlooked when she stood one day at his door, questionlessly filled his extractor with Bautzen mustard, and then proceeded to brush her salmon with the sauce.
Dramatic music plays from the speakers: Mustard Sally (O.S.T.)
You Take My Mustard, You Take My Mustard-Control
I Promise My Mustard, I Promise I Wait For You
It Mustard Been Love
All by my Mustard
Don't wanna be
All by my Mustard
Anymore
Translated · Show original
20 Comments
When your knee gets cold,
and your hamster keeps quoting Brecht,
just put mustard on it, simply mustard on it.
When your décolletage itches,
and no one is looking,
just put mustard on it, simply mustard on it.
Confusing finances? Mustard on it!
Gloomy balance sheets? Mustard on it!
It covers wonderfully
and doesn’t cost much.
It also supports agriculture
in the third world.
Sensational!
Since we had a great time, we propose to develop crime-themed treatments for the other six ingredients of the perfume as well (along with SoundDrecks, where Flirty Flower might be invited as a co-producer).
And because this whole thing is supposed to be presented in 5D cinema with scent accompaniment (of course AFTER the lockdowns and cinema closures are over), a detailed olfactory score is also requested. A true total work of art!