Haiku Mirko Buffini 2013

At the company M.B., the phone is ringing. It rings and rings.
(Since this is a fictional story, they speak German)
Finally, someone picks up and mumbles into the phone.
Grandpa Sperling: “Hello, my name is Sperling and I would like to speak with the Obermimer, please.”
There’s more mumbling on the other end.
Grandpa Sperling: “Could you please speak louder? I’m 86 and I’m a bit hard of hearing. I do have a hearing aid, but it always squeaks when I’m on the phone. Otherwise, I’m still quite fit for my age and I even drive a car. I only need glasses for reading; otherwise, I have eagle eyes, even though my name is Sperling, muhahaha.”
M.B.: “Yes, I’m the boss here. How can I help you?”
Grandpa Sperling: “My daughter found your number on the internet and asked me to inquire about a perfume for my grandson. She never has time, so I have to do it. I don’t have the internet myself. I won’t start with that stuff, I’d just mess it up. I’m a bit shaky sometimes and I just recently broke a Meissen vase.”
M.B.: “Normally, I don’t do perfume consultations, but as an exception.....”
Grandpa Sperling: “I used to use perfume all the time, but now I just splash myself with rubbing alcohol every day; that smells too. My daughter said the grandson needs something modern, even though I would have preferred to buy him something from Schanell.”
M.B.: “What? Oh, you mean Chanel!”
Grandpa Sperling: “My daughter isn’t an old hag at 64.”
M.B. (takes a deep breath..): “Let’s talk about your grandson. What’s he like?”
Grandpa Sperling: “Oh, he likes to eat in peace. He eats everything, especially sweets.”
M.B.: “I meant is he more quiet or sporty, fat or thin, tall or short. If he loves sweets, I have the Haiku here:”
Grandpa Sperling: “Well, he used to be heavier and his hair is shorter now, but since he’s been going to the roller skating rink with the kids, he’s gotten thinner again.
Heiko? My grandson is also named Heiko! What a coincidence. Muhahaha!”
M.B. (starts biting holes in the edge of his desk): “The perfume is called Haiku!!!!”
Grandpa Sperling: “Oh, I see. What does it smell like?”
M.B.: “Well, at the top, I have sweet blossoms, flax, roses...”
Grandpa Sperling: “I feel sorry for you. Does that hurt a lot?”
M.B.: “I mean the notes!”
Grandpa Sperling: “Well, if you give your pains notes, then my arthritis will soon get a 5.”
M.B. (teasing the fringes of his carpet and thinking, if I mention the heart note and the base now, grandpa will send me the paramedics) says desperately: “Those are the components of a perfume, and they are called notes. Together, they form the pyramid.”
Grandpa Sperling: “Oh, you also have a branch in Egypt? I just wanted to know how the stuff smells. Sour, bitter, or sweet.”
M.B.: “Haiku is sweet, very sweet, smells like pudding with berry fruits. Very, very creamy with a bit of wood. But if Haiku doesn’t appeal to Heiko, we will surely find something for the little one. How old is your grandson?”
Grandpa Sperling: “My grandson is 44.”