****** d'Oscar Oscar de la Renta 2011 Eau de Parfum

Sometimes I do like such playful bottles. Most of my bottles are straightforward, and some are so linear that I snap my heels together and salute before applying the fragrance.

So one shouldn't be blinded by the outer shell and hope that a charming breeze in a tutu will waft out, sweet and with a lollipop in its mouth.

The opening is lemony. But not as zesty as a fresh organic lemon. More like a slightly aged lemon that has seen better days. Candied lemon? Yes, that really exists. They are large, with a skin that looks like it has pockmarks. Here is candied lemon, which has been sitting in the baking ingredients cupboard for ages and in a few months will take on the consistency of amber and already smells a bit resinous. All of this comes out very slowly.

I don't get any high flights here, and my patience is put to a tough test.

So first a walk with Akemi (my Akita girl). Nose to wrist. What’s happening now, is there anything more? A few flowers flit by. Tuberose makes itself known, but without any heaviness. Akemi looks at me and thinks: “Now Mama is pulling another feather out of the hat. I'll lend her my nose.” Unmoved, she reads the newspaper on trees.

Iris, finally! Powder puff at the ready. Passes on to green-tinted musk. Creamy amber? Can't make it out. It has made itself scarce or was powdered over by iris and has wandered back into the whale's belly.

Okay, nice scent, but as exciting as the love life of cobblestones.