Room Service Vilhelm Parfumerie 2015

Smelled it several years ago and it was like needles to my nostrils. I remember it being sharp, dry, almost pinch-nosed in its wearability. Like silver platter room service arriving to your suite and then refusing to serve you for answering the door in your bathrobe. Upon revisit, perhaps that was an unfair assessment. To my more cultured nose it’s a sparkling clean floral: fresh-cut violets, fresh-washed linens, and – despite it not being in the notes – fresh-plucked pears(?) I suppose that’s the blackberry-mandarin, which adds a welcome tang. Lasts a solid six hours, commendable for a such a spick-and-span kind of freshie. I don’t hate it. If I’m ever elected the first female president of a country club, I’ll buy a full bottle.

Mental Snapshot: You’re a marchioness inspecting a potential property. A professional cleaning crew must have just sterilized the place; the marble glistens like snow and the halls waft of lab-cultivated lilies. A “summer house” the agent bills it. “Summer house?” You ask. It’s very sweet and all… but for a whole season? “Darling, I have a house for each month.”

tl;dr: Gwyneth Paltrow cosplay