Baloma

The hype mill will have one believe this is the child of the now-defunct Amber Absolute. Absolutely not. Na-ah! Thumbs and big toes percipitously down on this pee-yewer. It does start off with great promise - all that mystical, ambery, oudy, incensey miasma emanating from an ancient, middle-eastern pot of gold and amethyst.

Cut to an hour later: the pot metamorphoses into a goddam ashtray full to the brim with tobacco ash and - dare I say it - a tobacco smoker's a$$, and continues this olfactory onslaught for the rest of the day.

(And this isn't just my skin's interpretation. Even the TF sales assistant here in London confided to personally hating it).

If the perfumer was trying to rework Amber Absolute into a more saleable product, he/she must've been smoking something when they made this. Get thee back to the lab whence you came!

Much has been harped on about this magic and rarefied elixir called Egoïste Cologne Concentrée. You can almost hear a choir and see a beam of light cleave the sky in twain at the mere mention of this seemingly contradictory fragrance category: the concentrated cologne. And therein lies my chagrin.

For the life of me I cannot figure out what the difference is between this and the regular edition! I swear to God all those people who rave about the CC are either lying or else under some psychological illusion - "Ooooh, it came out and got discontinued....it must be amazing then!....yes I can smell it!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! It's so different!!!" Uhh..NOPE!

Thankfully, there are many people who realise the folly of this condition and can categorically say that there is precious little if no discernible difference between the two versions in terms of smell. Some will concede that the CC lasts a couple of hours longer, but that hasn't been the case in my experience. In fact, there are some who say the regular edition (as long as it's not the reformulated version) actually lasts a bit longer.

And this makes sense to me; was Chanel trying to reinvigorate the flagging sales of the fragrance by creating a new name for the established 'eau de toilette' category - the "cologne concentrée"? It honestly wouldn't surprise me if it was revealed that this was just such a marketing tactic - perhaps a play on the double C's of Chanel. No doubt some other company will soon come out with an EdT but call it an "Eau De Parfum Dilué"? Please!

Imagine walking into the spice souk in Dubai, and as you pass by one of the stalls the shop owner's daughter is applying nail varnish when a fan blows the cacophony of aromas straight up your nostrils. I still can't make up my mind about this one. I'm all for weird, off kilter fragrances, but this one is very challenging. Still bought it though because it deserves closer study.

My Mum gave me this out of her wardrobe. A delicate, unobtrusive incense that is far more nuanced and beguiling than CdG's monotonous Avignon. When I was young we used to travel to my parents' homeland in the Nile Valley for the summer. To celebrate our arrival, family members would prepare incense pots full of mastic, frankincense, sandalwood, and other spices whose combinations were said to have been handed down from pharaonic times. They would then drench and marinate the concoction in French perfumes - usually Fleurs D'Amour - before igniting it. Olivia Giacobetti distilled one of those pots in this bottle. Mystical and long-lasting.