Less Acquiring, More Appreciating, still Obsessive Thinking.
Hey All :)
As you may or may not know I began a no buy on 10/20/2013 to 1/1/2015. I'm 4 months in, and while I haven't caved once I am not entirely free from my demons quite yet. My mind is still set on the mode of a human calculator, crunching numbers to see how much "fun money" I have to buy pick me up treats. Instead of perfumes I moved on to obsessing on other scented products and have somehow managed to find myself with 2 new scrubs, 3 new body lotions, 3 new bubble baths and a new candle from yankee. When thatt crazy January sale week came and went I felt happy but also I felt some guilt. It's true I had gotten all this stuff at fabulous prices, prices I could rattle off by memory since I was so proud, like mounted heads on the wall of my bargain hunter pride. Still, I was missing the point and I knew it. A no buy for perfumes shouldn't mean a "buy everything else."
I am taking reprieve from that January sales splurge. I didn't buy a scented product all of February, and it's been really hard. I can name at least ten things I want to buy on the top of my head. I am trying to delete them from memory, but when I'm stressed the urge to get one sneaks up and bites me on the butt. It's always hard to say no, especially if it's on sale. The thing I have been the absolute stupidest about is this peach-raspberry macaroon candle from bath and bodyworks. That thing taunts me I swear to god. I've added it to my online cart twice. Once where I just really wanted to buy it, and another time when bath and bodyworks was having that free candle coupon code and I was convinced that I needed to buy a bunch of BBW products in advance to give to other people as presents. No one I know is obsessed with bath and bodyworks the way I am, I was lying to myself. Another thing is my favorite little indie shop somethin' special, I can never shut up about that place. I really want the dry oil in blue cotton candy and chocolate drizzle. Ya know, cause it's not like I don't have 30 bottles of lotion already or anything.
I think I might have an addictive personality, I tend to fixate on things. I am changing my mind all the time on when I will buy things or if I will buy things. It's hard to find a balance for me, I don't want to deprive myself, but I really do want to be more responsible. I know this sounds weird but when I go to other people's houses and see their scented product collections I sometimes feel really jealous of collections that are quaint, cute, and adored. Instead of stressing over how they are going to use all their stuff up and obsessing over what they can get next they just enjoy what they got. I want that simplicity in my life.
*Deep sigh* So, the no-buy marches on as I am learning hard lessons in restraint and responsibility. Learning balance as well. Right now the current deal is that I don't buy a single scented product until June, and I can have my stupid candle. Also I can ask for some somethin' special stuff for my birthday in July. Afterall it's not like I'd want to ask for something unscented anyways.
Baby steps my friends.