This obsession called 'collecting'.

I've always been fascinated with collections ... stamps, butterflies, art ... balls of string (I kid you not!!). It seems that somewhere on the planet, someone is inevitably collecting something ... from the mundane all the way through to the 'absolutely out there' stuff.

I was sitting here wondering why it is that every time I look, my fragrance collection seems to have grown yet again. I do my very best to control myself, but having a somewhat addictive nature doesn't do much to apply the brakes to my compulsion. Part of it, I suppose, is that I simply love the act of 'acquisition' ... retail therapy, after all, is said to have a calming effect on one's nerves and provide one with a sense of achievement. It's become so easy with the advent of the World Wide Web! One doesn't even have to leave the comfort of one's (hopefully) comfortable desk chair! These days pretty much anything can be had at the push of a button and for the cost of (usually more than) a few stamps. It's fantastic!! The thrill of bidding for a fragrant item on an auction site and winning is tantamount to a big rush of dopamine ... and I guess herein, at least for me, resides some of the addiction.

In the case of my fragrance obsession it's not just my keyboard that takes a beating. I am quite willing to travel great distances specifically to buy a bottle or seven. I find myself in the lucky position of traveling a lot for work lately, so Duty Free shops in International airports have become a familiar stalking ground. I do recall, however, having discovered the Ajmal brand a few years ago. I hunted the internet and found one supplier with a small stock 5 hours drive away from where I live. Such is my obsession that I didn't want to wait for him to mail the bottles to me ... I hopped in my car and duly made the 10 hour round trip just so that I didn't have to wait. Crazy, no? Ultimately quite fulfilling though. I have to giggle aloud when I think of it and just knowingly shake my head.

Why fragrances? I've pondered this question long and hard finding very little in the way of resolution. One theory I have concocted is that I am permanently on the hunt for a new signature fragrance. This notion stems from a time in my distant past when it was easier to be loyal to one fragrance ... when there wasn't such a huge choice available. I wore a single fragrance last when I was a teenager and if memory serves me correctly, that was only for three years or so. As soon as my world started expanding I was disloyal to my erstwhile love, and soon enough there were more bottles in my bedside cabinet than I could count on both hands ... so it's definitely not the search for a signature!

Psychologists cite various reasons for collectiing. One that resonated with me was the "desire to fill an emptiness in one's life." Upon examination I do fit the criteria ... I'm single, in my mid forties and will never have a family other than my parents and siblings, but I do have a gorgeous cat that I look after as if she were a child and I lead an incredibly busy and fulfilling lifestyle. I'm very lucky that I am one of those people who are able to make a good living from their passion. My life is filled with people so no, I'm not lonely. Another scenario propogated by those in the know is that collecting puts one in touch with like minded people thereby expanding one's social interactions. I'm more willing to climb on this train of thought as I'll be the first one to admit that my social life is abysmal! I actually don't have the energy for the niceties of chit-chat anymore, nor could I give a shit what he drives, how much he makes and how many times a week he goes to the gym. That's just one little piece of flotsam in a vast ocean of social ineptitude, but truly, as a middle aged gay man (who looks 10 years younger than he actually is *have to giggle*)  I just couldn't be bothered with the 'scene' anymore. Those of you who are gay and reading this will understand ... all others feel free to ask! Anyway ... getting back to the choo-choo ... I have met some of the nicest people I know on sites like these and while I value these cyber friendships they are not the reason for my endless collecting ... but they are a lovey by product!!

At the end of it all, I guess the most logical reason behind my obsessive fragrance collecting encompasses a few things that would tittilate a head shrinker, but ultimately I am happy in the simple fact that it all centers on my nose. As long as I can remember, I have liked the way that good things smell. I have a sensitive proboscis ... it always has been. One of my favorite party tricks is to stick my nose in someone's neck and guess what they are wearing (this is a relatively good pick up also!) and 70% of the time I'm right. Beautiful smells bring me great joy and peace. It's the only sense we humans take completely for granted, because to breathe is to smell. Thankfully the art of perfumery exists so that those of us with a fascination for scent have avenues of escape. I can't imagine a world without the beautiful fragrance of Jasmine in my garden on a summer evening or the way the earth smells when it has been freshly rained upon, the childlike joy of stuffing my nose into an open rose bloom and the way all the different places in the world I have visited smell.

My nose leads me on the path through this life that I have chosen ... I'm very thankful that it's a fragrant one.