Dirty little secret called perfume

In my first ever job, a lady sitting next to me in the office asked about the perfume I was wearing. Proud and happy, I told her the name. It was DSquared Crystal Creek Wood. She looked it up online. "You must have a lot of money to be able to afford such expensive perfume!", she exclaimed. I felt really embarassed. Someone behind me turned around. I started making excuses, I was saving up for it for a long time, it was discounted, it was a birthday present from myself to myself. Because clearly, no one in their right mind would pay this much for a scent.

It was not the only time it happened, and while sometimes the interlocutor didn't mean anything by it, on few occasions there was an element of (harsh) judgement, suggesting vanity, being spendy, being unreasonable. Maybe it's not entirely wrong :) But I do wish they kept the thoughts to themselves.

Don't get me wrong. I feel extremely priviledged to be able to enjoy perfume. It's a wonderful and amazing hobby, it allows me to travel in time and space without moving, it helped me make amazing frienships with people from all over the world. But I know it's a very fortunate position to be, to be able to sample, to exchange with others, to get to know so many wonderful creations.

But that element of being judged did make me a lot more cautious about sharing the passion. It also made me wonder, what it is that makes people so unfavourable towards some hobbies, and not others. Do people deem all past times in the same way, or are some superior/inferior, and what makes them so? What makes spending money on one thing more socially acceptable than spending money on something else?

NorthernSky 5 years ago

VivienneK - I think the collector argument also won't work in the same way, because colle cting perfume is still considering insane. People are more likely in my experience understand throwing insane money on stamp collections or other 'traditional' collections. I just learned to not mind (or keep my mouth shut when people ask about perfume) :)

DalilaB 5 years ago

We have all come across someone judgemental, either by directly saying you must be rich or insane to throw away money on smelly water or by rolling their eyes quietely. Perfume is seen as an extravagant, indulgent treat while maybe expensive kayaking gear is seen as exercise which would benefit mind and body :)
As long as it makes you happy and doesn’t get you into debt, I say enjoy your hobby. It’s your hard earned money and you’re the only one who can decide how to spend it.

VivienneK 5 years ago

I think it's enough to say that you are a collector. That's it. It signals a different quality to this hobby - frankly I don't think that everyone is aware that such thing exists because of the reasons mentioned earlier in this thread. But surely this is nobody's business in any case!

Anessa 5 years ago

(Summing up&sorry deleting the part you referred to before seeing your replies, I considered mine redundant.)
To me, it is the general case of ignorance, partly based on "traditional" ideas/views, leading to intolerance. Any act or characteristics of a minority regardless of the subject apparently and inevitably calls for resistance/criticism.
As much as I understand how it feels (always been on the other side involuntarily), I learnt that these people are not to be taken to heart in any way.

NorthernSky 5 years ago

We don't question how much someone spends on running shoes or cycling gear (neigher we should), but I remember a friend who was starting as as a makeup artist getting a lot of grief from her family for buying a lot of equipment, because surely "that could not be a propr job". I feel with perfume sometimes it's the same, because people deem it nonessential for them, they believe it should be nonessential for everybody else.

NorthernSky 5 years ago

I think sometimes it's this, as you say Anessa, a surprise. However, I imagine a different scenario- if I asked a coworker how much they spend on cigarettes or food, I bet there would be discomfort if I said "Wow, you must be really rich to be able to spend this much". There is such a big disctinction on what it's ucceptable to spend money on- perfume shares fate of other more niche hobbies.

Anessa 5 years ago

Without delving too deep in this direction, I could also imagine some attitudes/views coming from culturally influenced ideas about "virtues".
It seems to me that collecting fragrances hasn't become established "as just another hobby" in the awareness of the broad population yet and therefore, still prone to be marked with a double "strangeness" factor.

Anessa 5 years ago

Perhaps it partly due to the long tradition of associations and messages perfumes have been marketed with, e.g. self-indulgence, luxury (also with emphasised connections to Royal houses, celebrities & famous people), and the conception of "perfumes" as a superfluous fashion item comparable to makeups or designer shoes, bags, and furs you could "very well do without" for existence, without the artistic value ascribed to other creative art like paintings, photographs, sculptures and such.