Tears Régime des Fleurs 2022

The white swan to Glass Bloom’s hummingbird. It’s a clean scent. A lofty, literal French maid, model home kind of clean. Haters will say it smells like baby wipes. Lovers will say it smells like the shape of lost love. I think it smells like a very expensive eczema lotion someone like Gwyneth Paltrow might use, SPF15, aliquoted in an alabaster vessel shaped like a dove. Soothing, aloof, and slightly sterile. I feel disingenuous wearing Tears in my single room flat.

Despite all that, I keep coming back to waft. I can’t help but feel calmed and cleansed when I wear it. Lilac bouquets, goose-down duvets, naptime in dappled sunshine. Tears is a very put-together scent. It’s an older sister, honour student, first chair violinist scent. Maybe that’s why I have such a hot-cold relationship with it. I’m afraid I quite like it.

Mental Snapshot: You’ve never gotten dirt under your fingernails. And if you did, you wouldn’t be the one cleaning it out. You have a boy for that. The same one that droppers rosewater into your scalp every morning. Goodness, you didn’t know there was such a thing as “new car scent.” Even your oldest cars have smelled the same as the new ones! (Your oldest car was eight months old).

tl;dr: model home lotion