Knee-slapper Thread

A pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.
Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can
also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand........
The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

Hee! The little ones do come out with some comical stuff.

Ahahahaha!!!

Everyone is bringing the funny!

Funny, Beachgirl.

ROFL

soooo funny

well, it sorta is.

The best stuff seems to happen for no reason.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/30/colbert-cras hes-fallon-dances-to-get-lucky_n_3676815.html? utm_hp_ref=comedy

Diversion, immobilization, and win... almost

Love it,so funny.

For Dlane:

Fantastic! Go, birdy, go! How did we (the human race) assume birds were stupid for so long?

They are, most of them (You've seen turkey ).
Magpies and ravens are rare exceptions.

who knew

A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many Kinds of boobs are there?'
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three Phases.
In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit..
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
Yes, you see them and they make you cry.
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how Many kinds of 'willies' are there?'
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree. '
A Christmas tree?'
'Yes --- dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration'!

Bahwahahahahahaha

Dolby just went to the corner, I think I will go visit with her. So she can tell the joke again.

I guess I'm a douchebag, because I say "voz."

Ahahaha! Douchebag is a little harsh, isn't it?

It's just one of those French/English words that is selectively pronounced in French which I guess is what draws the mockery. Is it regional? Who knows. English pronounciation is the most inconsistent thing on the planet.

The one I don't get is "aunt." People get ragged on for pronouncing it "aunt" instead of "ant" when we should ALL be saying "aunt" because it's spelled friggin "aunt"! (For the record, I and most everyone I know says "ant." Again, regional perhaps?)