PROLOG
"You know... Not every story is meant to have a happy ending. If you had known my wife, you would have fallen in love with her too. She was full of compassion and inner strength. But then, then she made a mistake that I should never forgive her for...!”
Excerpt from "My sweet lie"
Monday, October 7, 2019
As I look out the window, it’s almost as if the blood in my veins is freezing, my brain is wrapped in cotton, and time seems to stand still. Maybe it’s the onset of a cold. Or perhaps it’s the dark gray rainy streets, the trees that seem to have adorned themselves in their brightest dresses, or the scent of autumn crocus, which once separated me from my greatest fragrance love.
Somehow today is a day like any other, and yet everything is different from what it once was.
You know, they say it takes 15 minutes to realize you’ve lost your phone, 1 hour to realize you’ve lost your wallet, and sometimes a whole lifetime to find out that you’ve lost yourself.
And you know, the day when the decision about the color of my nail polish should be the most important decision of my day was meant to be the day of my intellectual suicide. And maybe today is the day when I should realize that perhaps I’ve lost myself a little too.
You know, sometimes we lose things we aren’t even aware of how important they are to us. But most of the time we realize it far too late. And we only recognize the gray clouds on the horizon when there’s no turning back.
You must know, at the moment I can’t decide on any fragrance.
After a tiring day at work, I test a few fragrances at Karstadt. I’m astonished when Libre by YSL seems to be a copy of Estée Lauder’s White Linen. A dupe, as dupes can’t get any dupier. The saleswoman is determined to push La Belle on me. On the test strip, it’s indeed spicy delicious, but on my arm, it develops into a vanilla-plum compote. What a shame.
From Guerlain, I try the Homme version of L’instant (actually all fragrances from Guerlain), but before I can perceive the delicious scent progression and the beautiful herbaceousness and woodiness further on the test strip, the saleswoman pulls me away again. "Try the ladies' version, it suits you much better," she says, and today it’s all too much for me.
It wouldn’t change anything; I would have to immerse myself in an olfactory meditation in the green temple tomorrow.
When I stand in front of my fragrance shelf in the evening, I’m amazed by the variety. And as I look at each bottle, it’s almost as if a film is playing in my mind’s eye. Each fragrance represents a part of my past and a part of me that I am no longer today. Almost like an alter ego that has left me with the era of that time.
I face my old great loves: Paris by YSL from 2000 (the vintage version), Tommy Girl, Hypnose Senses, J’adore, Coco, and also Alaia. Phew, I’ve always been a fragrance punk who sprayed on all sorts of things. But after being frequently asked about it on Parfumo, I seem to actually be a rose freak.
And I thought I had gone crazy. And so had my entire fragrance world. My mom gifted me Chloe for my birthday. And I must tell you, I was truly not a fan of this fragrance for many years. But you know - "don’t look a gift horse in the mouth..."
In a fragrance test, everything starts citrusy fresh and there’s a bit of fizz. I actually find this fizz inspiring. Why, I don’t know. Even though lemon is not listed in the fragrance pyramid (it says mandarin here), I still smell it, the lemon.
They say lemon is supposed to be uplifting, concentration-enhancing, and liberating in aromatherapy, which I can actually relate to. I even feel like it clears my head. Why, I don’t understand, but it’s pleasant.
And then my secret or should I say uncanny protagonist, the rose, begins. As I said, for years I resisted Chloe and couldn’t stand the amber afterwards. Since this is the EdT, it seems they have omitted the amber. I am indeed olfactorily thrilled. But why?
Why does this rose evoke such a feeling of happiness? Over time, it becomes more powdery (is that due to the iris?), but also stronger. It almost seems like a little rose war is developing. Although it’s all fresh (allegedly there’s freesia in it providing the freshness), at some point, I only smell rose through and through.
When I delve into aromatherapy, it doesn’t surprise me that rose scents are said to be used to alleviate migraines. The clear path in my head confirms this. The scent is even said to help with shock states in psychology to relax patients. And that also confirms the soothing of my soul.
And the rose war only takes place in my thoughts.
When the doorbell rings, I unexpectedly bump into my coffee cup, which falls to the ground and shatters. And suddenly, I realize that I’m glad this one time that the cup is neither half full nor half empty, but simply empty.
As I bend down to pick up the shards, I find my bracelet with my name under my couch after many years. And I wonder if perhaps I have found myself again in this rose war.
And as I look at the shards, I realize that I cannot rely on my head. Even without this cup, I simply lack too many in the cupboard.
So I rise from the shards and walk to the door, aware that I must make this decision solely with my heart.
EPILOG
Trust your heart. It beat before you could think. - Author unknown
Updated on 10/14/2019
Top Notes 
Melon
Mandarin orange
Pink pepper
Heart Notes 
Rose
Freesia
Base Notes 
Iris
Sandalwood
Tonka bean
Yextrundop
Dopeweasel
Thesun5
Trucklady
MsPralinchen
Sinioerkel
JungeJunge
LUI
Neroline
Cluddi
Juliii
