Chuck Norris
12 years ago
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too Bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.