Barony Brazil - Vanilla Village Cosmetics

It had started so well: I had bought Fruity Fragrances - Sweet Vanilla by Jean-Paul Grand at the local flour maker a while back, an absolute cheapo. For some occasions I love this nothing-but-vanilla fragrance, but the bottle with the charm of a urine sample makes me pantomime herpes.
And then I found a promising review of Vincenzo Barony - Exotic Vanilla, also from Village Cosmetics and also the associated vendor. I ordered. Should this be the fragrance I was looking for in a slightly more appealing guise? I do not know it unfortunately until today.
Because on Thursday, my favorite parcel messenger, a power woman tattooed to the hairline, brought the longed-for package. So begin beautiful days.
But then: the package torn open to unreproducibility, the OVP removed, the cap down, the sprayer operated and fortunately only sprayed into the air. What is that?
A look at the flacon: much darker than expected. No, there is nothing about furniture polish, nothing about shoe polish, but Barony Brazil - Vanilla. I had not ordered, definitely not.
So I complain. I had expected, given the low value of the goods, "We're sorry. We'll send you the fragrance you asked for. Keep this one."
But honestly, I wouldn't have known what to do with the brat. So I wasn't mad yet that they seriously wanted the stuff back. Get new box, print out return slip, repackage all the crap and take it to the Hermes shop. The 15 euros would be credited back to my credit card account and the new delivery would be sent to me on account immediately. Annoying, but it should be all right.
As if I suspected what was coming, I still pointed out: "It was already the right outer packaging, unfortunately, the wrong content. Look again purely with the replacement delivery."
Today on Monday morning, my neighbor rings. Already on Saturday, DHL had dropped the package at your place. No notice in my mailbox. It was anyone, but not my favorite parcel messenger.
This time I opened the package carefully, took out the bottle - again the same Mist Barony Brazil - Vanilla, the wrong bottle in the right packaging. Had I not explicitly pointed out and asked for control before shipping? This time, a phone complaint was due. "No, we can't open the boxes before shipping because then they are no longer OVP." I reply, "But they're not shrink-wrapped at all." I explain that I will not go through the trouble of returning the goods again. Yes, they will write off the invoice. I should keep the fragrance.
I ask that they finally deliver the fragrance I ordered. But no. Now they want to have shipping check the entire shipment. How to do that without opening the boxes? Specialists!
And so I think, give the fragrance another chance, will not get rid of him anyway and spray me cautiously two blasts of the Barony Brasil - Vanilla on the neck. A mistake: I stink like never before.
If he can do nothing: Durability and sillage are excruciatingly good. "And the emphasis is on" appalling. Shower, shave, aftershave, new shirt and a nice swish of Tabac Man - and the Brazilian furniture polish still resonates a bit. Good thing I don't have anything else planned today.
To paraphrase the great Greek Manousakis, "disaster."