03/22/2021
Pappnase
10 Reviews
Translated · Show original
Pappnase
5
Reality Scents - today: Furniture Polish
It had started so well: Some time ago, I bought Fruity Fragrances - Sweet Vanilla by Jean-Paul Grand from the local flour producer, an absolute bargain. For some occasions, I love this nothing-but-vanilla scent, but the bottle with the charm of a urine sample gives me pantomime herpes.
And then I found a promising review of Vincenzo Barony - Exotic Vanilla, also from Village Cosmetics and the associated supplier. I ordered it. Could this be the sought-after scent in a somewhat more appealing guise? Unfortunately, I still don’t know.
Because on Thursday, my favorite package delivery woman, a power woman tattooed up to her hairline, brought the long-awaited parcel. That's how beautiful days begin.
But then: the package ripped open to the point of unreproducibility, the outer packaging removed, the cap off, the sprayer activated, and fortunately only sprayed into the air. What is this?
A glance at the bottle: Much darker than expected. No, it says nothing about furniture polish, nothing about shoe polish, but Barony Brazil - Vanilla. I definitely did not order that.
So I file a complaint. Given the low value of the goods, I expected: "We're sorry. We'll send you the desired scent. You can keep this one."
But honestly, I wouldn’t have known what to do with the stuff anyway. So I wasn't even angry that they seriously wanted it back. Get a new box, print out a return label, pack all the crap up again, and take it to the Hermes shop. The 15 euros would be credited back to my credit card, and the new delivery would be sent to me on account immediately. Annoying, but everything should turn out fine.
As if I sensed what was coming, I pointed out: "It was indeed the right outer packaging, unfortunately the wrong contents. Please check again with the replacement delivery."
Today, Monday morning, my neighbor rings the bell. DHL had already dropped off the package with her on Saturday. No notice in my mailbox. That was someone else, but not my favorite package delivery woman.
This time, I carefully opened the package, took out the bottle - again the same crap Barony Brazil - Vanilla, the wrong bottle in the right packaging. Didn’t I explicitly mention this and request a check before shipping? This time, a phone complaint was necessary. "No, we can't open the boxes before shipping because then they are no longer in original packaging." I replied: "But they aren’t even sealed." I explained that I wouldn’t go through the hassle of returning it again. Yes, they would write off the invoice. I should keep the scent.
I asked them to finally deliver the ordered scent. But no. Now they want to have the entire shipment checked before shipping. How that is supposed to work without opening the boxes? Specialists!
And so I think, give the scent another chance, you won’t get rid of it anyway, and I cautiously spray two puffs of Barony Brazil - Vanilla on my neck. A mistake: I smell worse than ever.
If it can’t do anything: Longevity and sillage are horrifically good. "And the emphasis is on" horrifically. Shower, shave, aftershave, new shirt, and a nice splash of Tabac Man - and the Brazilian furniture polish still lingers a bit. Good thing I have nothing else planned for today.
To quote the great Greek Manousakis: "Catastrophe."
And then I found a promising review of Vincenzo Barony - Exotic Vanilla, also from Village Cosmetics and the associated supplier. I ordered it. Could this be the sought-after scent in a somewhat more appealing guise? Unfortunately, I still don’t know.
Because on Thursday, my favorite package delivery woman, a power woman tattooed up to her hairline, brought the long-awaited parcel. That's how beautiful days begin.
But then: the package ripped open to the point of unreproducibility, the outer packaging removed, the cap off, the sprayer activated, and fortunately only sprayed into the air. What is this?
A glance at the bottle: Much darker than expected. No, it says nothing about furniture polish, nothing about shoe polish, but Barony Brazil - Vanilla. I definitely did not order that.
So I file a complaint. Given the low value of the goods, I expected: "We're sorry. We'll send you the desired scent. You can keep this one."
But honestly, I wouldn’t have known what to do with the stuff anyway. So I wasn't even angry that they seriously wanted it back. Get a new box, print out a return label, pack all the crap up again, and take it to the Hermes shop. The 15 euros would be credited back to my credit card, and the new delivery would be sent to me on account immediately. Annoying, but everything should turn out fine.
As if I sensed what was coming, I pointed out: "It was indeed the right outer packaging, unfortunately the wrong contents. Please check again with the replacement delivery."
Today, Monday morning, my neighbor rings the bell. DHL had already dropped off the package with her on Saturday. No notice in my mailbox. That was someone else, but not my favorite package delivery woman.
This time, I carefully opened the package, took out the bottle - again the same crap Barony Brazil - Vanilla, the wrong bottle in the right packaging. Didn’t I explicitly mention this and request a check before shipping? This time, a phone complaint was necessary. "No, we can't open the boxes before shipping because then they are no longer in original packaging." I replied: "But they aren’t even sealed." I explained that I wouldn’t go through the hassle of returning it again. Yes, they would write off the invoice. I should keep the scent.
I asked them to finally deliver the ordered scent. But no. Now they want to have the entire shipment checked before shipping. How that is supposed to work without opening the boxes? Specialists!
And so I think, give the scent another chance, you won’t get rid of it anyway, and I cautiously spray two puffs of Barony Brazil - Vanilla on my neck. A mistake: I smell worse than ever.
If it can’t do anything: Longevity and sillage are horrifically good. "And the emphasis is on" horrifically. Shower, shave, aftershave, new shirt, and a nice splash of Tabac Man - and the Brazilian furniture polish still lingers a bit. Good thing I have nothing else planned for today.
To quote the great Greek Manousakis: "Catastrophe."
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