“Mist, the eggs are out! Well, so much snow is not what we’re used to, it delivers nothing! I should ask Polly if she can spare something...”
Suddenly the phone rang.
“Yes, the Parfumo superhero here? No, not Don...Yes? What? Collaborate with Dr. No Logne? He’s basically the villain in every episode! What? He’s filed a lawsuit? He’s threatening to dump the 500-liter splash bottle of some Spanish cologne all over leather?? I guess we have no choice...that damned scoundrel!”
“Gack?”
“Oh, Polly, you here at the supermarket?”
“Gacker!”
“Yes, annoying, but when the farmer is drunk and drives the tractor into the barn, what can you do?”
“Gagaack!”
“Sure, I have some straw and feed for you. As long as you don’t look in the freezer....”
“Pick, gacker?”
“Well...do you remember your friends, the chickens from Stuttgart? Maybe they haven’t disappeared at all....Change of subject! We are being blackmailed by Uncle Cologne! He wants a leather cologne created and is dictating the ingredients, it’s supposed to be called: Spanish Leather. We’re meeting him at three at the docks.”
“Gagaacker, Scharr.”
“Now you’ve got me, we don’t have any docks, it sounded cooler. We’re meeting in the city center next to the vegan ice cream parlor in some trendy studio.”
“Bwoack!”
“Well...you say Melissa, should I call her? Well....I had tea yesterday and I think she can’t....”
At three at the docks:
“I greet you but where is the faun?”
“Probably frozen next to fir trees, he’ll thaw out soon. Okay, what’s going on here?”
“I have four ingredients for you and from that, you’ll conjure me a leather....COLOGNE! Harrharr, there are also plenty of canisters, we’ll sell those nicely afterwards at the Turkish supermarket and on the internet at Parfumo!”
“So we’re just your work slaves?”
“Yes. To put it in Stromberg’s words: now.....do it!”
They laid out rose geranium, musk, patchouli, and Pringles. No, just kidding, rose of course. The name Spanish Leather refers in England to a leather that is meant to imitate medieval leather from, for example, furniture. It is rather strong and darkly colored, and was indeed used for carriage upholstery at the time this fragrance was created. Curiously, this goes back to an Italian leather-making style, so it’s originally not Spanish.
“Okay, Polly, I’ll try something with the rose...could you please stop picking the individual petals?”
“Gaaaaaah!”
“Don’t puff yourself up like that! It’s not working, it already smells very much like rose at first, but like a harsh rose. Then directly the rose geranium, now it smells like unripe rose...I don’t think this is going to work, FvCologne.”
“It must! Fittleworth is taking 3,000 liters, so 100 splash bottles or canisters. That’s money in the pockets of my tailcoat!”
“I’ll keep going, Colognebert Duck!”
*Fiddle*
*Screw*
*Fiddle*
*Drink beer*
*Write a few witty sentences under her statements*
“So, now Spanish Leather is spicier, somehow as if the rose geranium is soaked in moss and alcohol. It smells spicy, old-fashioned, for the man with ochre corduroy trousers, pocket watch, and pale green vest. Still...this smells good now...”
“Oh yes, a brown cologne for my comment series, but for which one? Colonia instead of Coronia or Kölsch, I mean Neuköllnisch or the ones I still have in planning? Cravache, I’ve cologned Dolly.”
“Captn Cologne, I’ve put some nice musk over it, now we have a soapy touch, still with a 70s feeling! I mean 1870s. Monsieur, test? So do you want to test?”
“Bring it on! I hope this is good, otherwise I’ll have to reconsider whether to revoke Cautio Criminalis to let you and the chicken get grilled!
Hmm.....mhhhhh.....mhm....hm....muh.....mhhhhhh
hmmmm.....hmhmhmhmhhm....yes, it’s good.”
“Phew, can we go?”
“Go ahead, you leather-wandering figures, you vanilla-decaying chickens!”
Our two heroes could finally leave, and it was high time because the longevity of Spanish Leather was rather limited.
Spanish Leather should certainly be seen in the context of its time. The scent is bitter, masculine, spicy, and successful. When applied generously, it lingers as well. Personally, I don’t find the phase of the non-floral rose at the beginning pleasant, although it is well done. Nevertheless, this is a very good, solid scent from a bygone era; I could very well imagine it as an aftershave even today. Where olfactory leather is supposed to be created remains a mystery; perhaps one must have smelled the antique leather/Spanish leather of that time, but I don’t think of today’s furniture.
Top Notes 
Clove
Lavender
Heart Notes 
Geranium
Rosemary
Rose
Base Notes 
Sandalwood
Patchouli
Vanilla
Deerhound
Syzygy73
SchatzSucher
Yatagan
Ergoproxy
Chizza
Stulle
CharlAmbre
Landlord
DasguteLeben
