Very helpful Review
Lurking in the shadows...
Clandestine was the clincher that put Guy Laroche in my top five perfume houses once and for all, because, according to my personal taste of course, every fragrance that the house launched until Guy Laroche's death in 1989 was a perfect ten, and has earned a more or less legendary or even cult status over time. I mean, think about it for a while. Fidji, Eau Folle, Drakkar, J'ai Ose, Drakkar Noir and finally Clandestine.
Of course it comes as no surprise that after Monsieur Laroche's departure for perfume heaven, and with the brief flash of Horizon in 1993 (probably due to momentum), good ol' L'Oreal thought it was a good time to start joking.
Drakkar Dynamik, Drakkar Essence, J'ai Ose Baby and J'ai Ose Aqua. I personally didn't laugh at all. I just pray there's not any Fidji Urban Chic or Clandestine So Cute in the making...
And now that the eulogy is over, let's get to the point.
We all know that there's always a good chance for something very interesting and possibly dangerous to be happening behind these huge metal waste containers that are usually found in dimly lit and occasionally wet dark alleys. I mean, come on, we've seen it in a thousand movies, so it's got to be true.
Well, the interesting and surely dangerous thing that is happening behind this particular one that stands before us, is Clandestine. With her trashy but flashy dress raised, her panties lowered, and happily peeing behind it. Moments after she has left one of these thunderous '80s clubs, where she was dancing like crazy all night long.
What's more interesting is that upon getting caught in the act, she doesn't bother to cover herself. Not in the slightest. On the contrary, she looks at you at full defiance, utters "What?" and goes on with her business.
And she goes from Clandestine to in-your-face in an instant. And this instant is enough to make you fall desperately in love with her!
Because the smell of this stupendous and intoxicating aura engulfing her, is speaking of pure, unrestrained woomanhood and it will make you stagger and swoon every single time. For it's not possible to escape this musty, dirty but in the same time sweet and guile attack unscathed. Because you stand the same chances as if you were under full frontal assault (pun intended) by a crazed battalion of civet cats, with Company A ferociously gnawing on (tube)roses and Company B looking to gnaw anything on you that resembles plums. Ferociously as well. With their CO smiling from the shadows of her hiding place...
But don't worry about any connotations between her and the contents of her hiding place being more than concrete. Cause it may be that no matter how hard she tries to sell her lady self, the tramp within her will always show, but who doesn't like this kind of tramps? And who wouldn't be ready to die for her after seeing her audacious poise despite being that exposed? OK, maybe not die, but at least watch over her until she finishes relieving herself. And perhaps follow her obediently afterwards, drawn by the invisible leash that Clandestine has tighten around your neck. For it may be gallant and noble to defend a queen, but it's always the plain rabble girls that will pay you back with everything they've got.
And this one has got it all...