I reach the last ferry of the day after 600 km nonstop just in time: it lies there as if ordered, adorned with its cold position lights almost ceremoniously, as if it has been waiting just for me. Hardly any passengers, the crew seems almost to be in the majority; accordingly, the steward waves me relaxed to the bow.
Just 7 hours ago, the world consisted only of resistance, as if I were underwater, every step, every grip laborious, every thought sticky, like in slow motion, always too late, every phone ring a sinister announcement: Now I sit on the wooden bench of the airy foredeck, feeling overzealous-carved love vows and slowly changing from gill to lung breathing.
The engines rev up, the boat vibrates and briefly grumbles backward, so that one must hold on: we are casting off. I stare into the roaring black around me, in front and above; neither island nor water is visible as the boat reaches the fairway and only the flickering dance of the pale moonlight on the inky black seems to guide us. Upon arrival, I quickly leave the port and place behind: now and then solitary illuminated houses, then only night sliced by headlights. If I didn't know that something else was coming, I would think I was heading into nothingness. After three to four gravel paths off the last paved road, the restored turrets and bay windows of the light gray guesthouse with its white window frames emerge vaguely. Minutes later, I am already sleeping dreamlessly towards morning.
Awakening at sunrise/the creaking of the floorboards, simulating ship planks / in front the dune with the anarchistic dune grass / behind the small garden with the parade-like arranged reeds, around the pond man-high, gently swaying in the wind / the morning mist over the reeds / the rising scent of coffee / cartoonish thought for a brief moment: Maybe the mist is the scent of coffee? / from the ground floor, half-heard phone calls in Danish - incomprehensible, but cozy-sounding / later at breakfast the landlady, a fine old woman in gray, matching the colors of the guesthouse: gray suit and white hair.
The now necessary shopping must wait, the wind outside carries the call for color, although today it should primarily be gray, it will be a rough, overcast day; a play of changing clouds between scattered, clear, and overcast, sometimes drawn together, sometimes torn apart.
Shortly thereafter over the dune, panoramic view: the triple oval of sand, sea, and sky lays upon the eyes like Father, Son, and Holy Spirit / the sea is rougher than the wind suggests / heavy waves stomp against their demise and spray their mist onto the beach / I inhale the air like a drowning person after being saved / everywhere colorful failed attempts at kite flying, accordingly excited barking dogs around / the collie, who is happy every time it’s time to launch / some couples testing eternity / a surfer who almost drowns unnoticed / as he kneels on the sand after returning from the water: unclear whether from exhaustion or if he is praying / now and then quirky flotsam from the sea voyage / almost no amber / in between, breathing like an addict in withdrawal / at first still dodging the outgoing waves / shortly thereafter indifference regarding this: the shoes must go anyway / minutes later already barefoot although not uncold / shivering seagulls in flocks in the wind / anglers, timelessly waiting for the treacherous tug on the line / otherwise - as always - the difference between sand and asphalt: you leave traces; even if only until the next tide / a few noteworthy shells / overall almost autumnally fresh, the light with long shadows / the sun warm yet announcing coolness underneath; a warm feeling, but as soon as one becomes overly cheerful in a sweater: the shivering in a suit / joy in life, but feeling the limit.
The shopping that is finally due brings anticipation for unusual cheese varieties and familiar intense experiences with jam. In the fish shop, the fish is so fresh that it smells more like fish everywhere than there. I check the selection, but today I feel like simple plaice with potatoes, butter, and lemon, but there are no plaice left, so I go again to the cutter on the beach. The small auction goes satisfactorily, the selection small but fine. Otherwise, shopping here as always: cigarettes and alcohol are extremely expensive, only idleness remains and the proverb seems to have disappeared.
Back at the hotel: the rustling of the grass and the murmuring of the nearby sea; in the mirror: the 3-day beard has become 4. Whispering voices from other rooms while the plaice wriggle in the pan. New arrivals in the attic: a couple, perhaps Czechs or Yugoslavs; promptly there is an argument: Madame has taken off properly. Arguments in foreign languages sound nicer when you can't understand, so without content it remains just an excited melodic sing-song, almost like music. Later, smoking out the window: the sleepy cat on the car hood in backlight.
A randomly grabbed perfume sample from the travel bag at departure: vanillic, grassy, algal, salty; anchored somewhere between “Sel de Vetiver” and “Sel de Marin,” but without the pronounced penat smell of the former and with less fishy algal scent of the latter; almost a brother of Montale's “Sandflowers,” but with its salty vanilla without the occasional piercing artificiality and significantly less penetrating. The scent merges with the wood scent of the house and my salty skin, so that I no longer perceive it as a separate perfume the next morning - although clearly present. Balanced, good.
In the night, a dry storm announces the change in weather: air as if the world has just been born. Despite the roaring wind, a distinct hint of increasing warmth, the air, despite its wildness, kindly silky, spreading all possibilities of life before me, in every gust of wind lies a different life, each different in its own way, but all mine.
The next morning, the sun is already very high early. From the window, everything is already just yellow and blue. From afar, the children's calls from the beach echo, the flags flutter in the garden. The sea no longer wild and gray, but a blue-green undulating sparkle of millions of mirrors, reflecting and breaking the light, a true flood of hypnotically rolling thousands of small waves; only outside on the sandbank do they jealously fall over each other and crash wildly and high. The outgoing licking waves sink into the sandy blotting paper, the receding water over stones and shells raises a crackling like hundreds of extinguishing fires in the surf. But already the next one approaches, it is a single hissing and bubbling, as if the water of the world rises from the sand to us. I stand there, knee-deep, around me the hissing sea and enter a constant roar, waiting for what the tide will still bring.
Everyday life is almost as far away as the trawler making its way on the horizon. Everything sparkles and blurs in squinted, sunglass-free eyes. Just a few feather clouds up in the blue ......