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Peace
On one of those days when the sun hung like a sleepy lion at its zenith and the air shimmered as if it were a mirror of broken time, a little boy hopped over the gravel in the parking lot of the small swimming pool in worn, brittle sandals. It was the millionth day of vacation.
Frederik, but everyone called him Peace. He was not a ruffian, nor an aggressive individual. He was the gentlest and best boy there was at that time, one would say later. But like all those who fit too well into the world, Peace seemed to carry a premonition of what would later happen to him and was hesitant with big decisions.
But now, in this moment, he felt only complete satisfaction at being in the swimming pool. He settled down on the warm grass next to the edge of the pool and watched as the sunbeams transformed the water into a thousand tiny shards of light. The swimming pool was right next to a lake. Something he always found very silly. On the other hand, there were also fish and swans and ducks in the lake. They must have opposed it back when the city council convened to build a swimming pool.
It was as if he could see time itself dancing in the waves. But not the time that Papa complains about or the one that is chased by teachers. It was the true time, which only wanted to be noticed but had no fear of it. A lemon butterfly flitted clumsily through the hot air, and Peace wondered if it knew how beautiful it was. He couldn't remember if all living beings could look at themselves in a mirror, but he suspected that it wasn't so important to most.
It smelled somehow like delicious skin. Like that of Mama. Or Grandma. And of warmth. And somehow of other things that were all delicious in a way, even though you couldn't eat them. The warmth of the summer air wrapped everything like an invisible cloth.
Almost sweet, as if the sun itself could be tasted. Peace loved these moments when the world was so alive that it felt like it could burst at any moment, just to release even more colors, more sounds, more everything. At the same time, he noticed how loud it was at the swimming pool. The calls of the other children, the splashing of the water, the rattling of the diving boards, and the squeaks of those who didn't dare - everything was part of this chaos. But the longer he listened, the more he realized how this noise could turn into a soothing silence if one only wanted it. As if the sounds condensed into a quiet wave sound that held nothing uncertain within it.
The kiosk, whose ice cream freezers sparkled like tempting capsules from another dimension, drew him in like a magnet. There stood Mr. Bogdan, the kiosk seller, as always, a man whose cheerful appearance did not quite harmonize with the slightly disturbing wobble of his eyes. A glass eye that shimmered in the sun like a forgotten jewel, and a laugh that was too loud. Much too loud. - so loud that it echoed again and again on the bus ride home. Bogdan laughed at things that no one else seemed to see; in fact, he laughed at everything. He was a man who seemed to love everyone, who told stories, not always coherently, and whose hands often shaped wild things while he spoke, as if they were kneading the air.
“Hello, little buddy! Today is special! Already waiting, your Bogdan. For you, Peace, a very special ice cream,” said Bogdan, having laughed Peace over from afar. Peace took the ice cream without knowing why his hands were trembling. The ice cream itself was a wonder, a shimmering spiral of colors that intertwined with each other, a scent that smelled of thunderstorm and brown sugar. And while Peace licked under Bogdan's widest grin in the world, he felt how the glass eye rejoiced. It shifted. Like an inner mechanism that had rested too long.
It did not happen suddenly, but like a quiet whisper that echoed in his ears, a feeling as if the world around him was sucking the air out of itself. His fingers began to disappear, curling in on themselves like a rubber glove. His skin stretched like chewing gum - back and forth - his legs, his arms became formless lines, something or someone had stolen his bones. Fump.
The sound like when Papa opens a beer and the cap pops off the wire bail. He was still sitting on the grass. But as what?
If he had had a mirror, he would have seen it. There, where just a freckled blonde boy had been sitting, lay a tube of sunscreen - smooth, soft, without a will of its own, yet permeated by a knowledge that had not been accessible to him before.
He did not feel what he had felt before, no fear, no panic. It was a state of pure being, a consciousness without borders, captured in the warmth of the sun that enveloped him. His scent, creamy and sweet at the same time, spread like a silent call that was directed at no one yet penetrated everything. He had become part of everything, and everything was part of him.
And then she came.
Silke Meerbusch-Strötershagel. Art teacher. HIS art teacher. A woman, heavy and graceful at the same time. She had a presence that filled every room without overwhelming it, and her eyes seemed as if they could shatter any mirror. But not with dominance or forced egocentrism. She was infinite softness.
Her hands reached for him, tubed Frederik. She squeezed him onto her skin, letting him spread over her slightly reddened body as if he were not a cream but an invisible veil connecting her to the world.
Why the sauna was open in summer was not a question that a sunscreen would ask.
The sauna, a steamy room where the air hung like a heavy curtain, awaited her. The heat enveloped her like an old lover, while the smoke from her cigarette dissipated in the swirls. Peace felt how his being expanded, how with every breath of the woman he drew deeper into the pores of time. The scent of tobacco - thick and sweet like a promised end - mingled with the cedar wood of the sauna and the sweet-salty notes of sweat. It was as if the world itself was breathing, and Peace was its breath.
Her breaths were calm, in them lay a tenderness that had nothing human about it. It was the tenderness of time, which expands and contracts again, merciless yet comforting. Peace lost himself. In the sauna, in the smoke, in the sweetness and his own newfound creaminess. And when he was nothing more than a whisper of memory that mingled with the air, he felt for the first time what it meant to be there.
Outside, winter lay infinitely far away. Yet Peace no longer feared it. He was the sun, the heat, the skin, the life. And as the woman exhaled deeply, he disappeared with the smoke, a final greeting to eternity, if only for a moment. Summer has always come back, mostly again and again. Only the summer holidays, they eventually come to an end.