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Chizza
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36
Courtship dance the Herne way
"Sex Magic....that's one for me! That's what I'm credited with....," Wool muttered to himself as he looked at the House of Matriarch website.
"More like one for me, got my eye on a perfumista there."
"Udo....better finish that case already, it's embarrassingly slow. It's noon and you're still standing. Anyway, I'll order some samples now and then let's see. They don't call me Mr. Hip Swing for nothing."
"Well, actually, they call you Mr. Porky-Hips," Hotte interjected.
"Or sausage in a beer skirt."
"Or Polecat."
"Now shut up, I'm ordering now!"
Weeks later:
The shipment arrived, Wolle and his tried out Sex Magic, Udo dumped it all right over his obese body.
"I'm going to drop by my crush Mahatma's place in a minute. Uninvited. Uninvited, if necessary."
"Hotte, now let's test this stuff. I'd say topless at the ice cream parlor."
No sooner said than done. Wolle's voluminous man boobs bobbed back and forth, many a lady swooned. Children cried at the sight of the hairy hot air balloon aka belly. Murmurs of "are these real?" could also be heard here and there. Right Said Fred rang out from the speakers.
"Yeah, right ladies! Hot Wolle here, Herne's sexiest man alive! Well? Doesn't that smell brilliant? Who's getting fuzzy here? Please stand up then! No...not you with the polecat, Mr...."
"Cravache! That beguiling smell! Of oily leather with a rounding leg note! How it smells lightly of cardamom, but at the same time green like freshly cut wet grass. Coincidence that it contains Gandhi(x) Root Oil? I don't think so! That slight hint of resins and earthy tones! Plus this rather old and tame leather which provides a swell base for the rest."
"Yes, that's true, of course. Only somehow this gets quite mellow and loses the rough edges after not too long. It reminds me of a tame Gucci Guilty Absolute. Oud I only faintly sense, gives the fragrance a bit more depth. But enough chit-chat. Now who wants to come with me and eat me up?"
With that, Wool let some beer flow over his belly, rubbed it on, and slurped his hands off afterwards. It was beer, after all.
Fortunately, the owner of the ice cream parlor was so quick-witted and hand vomit bags briskly. Thanks to the extremely pleasing scent could all present once again practice in Contenance. It was agreed, wool actually smelled good. Since no one wanted to get up, Wolle felt compelled to choose a willing lady himself. Determinedly he strode to a woman turning her back to him, was about to address her when:
"Ilse??? What are you doing here!"
"I could ask you the same thing, Wolle Jodokus Wollny!"
With those words, Woll's wife dragged him out of the ice cream parlor by his earlobes, clamoring loudly.
"Uh, can you describe the scent again, Iltismann?"
"Well, the leather goes successively more and more into the other notes, the violet you recognize when you know that this is included. Otherwise, little variation exists in Sex Magic. Or should I say positions?"
At this, Cravache clucked like a chicken.
Epilogue: somewhere in Bavaria a door opened: "Udo??? Get out!"
"But can't you smell it? Amyris? That's where the slightly sweet note comes from that's beyond.....balsamic!"
"Oh, Udo!"
Suddenly the door was locked and the curtains fell down!
