02/21/2021

Cravache
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Cravache
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Sensational revelation: Yatagan is Pierre Montale! - An expedition report
This revelation hit the idyllic Parfumo village like a new batch of Aventus in the Jeremyan sect. The Parfumo philosopher Yatagan is really Pierre Montale. And vice versa. Pierre Montale, the creator of the 15,390 Montale fragrances (plus 8,690 Mancera flankers) and inventor of the Bhopal oud. This also made it clear why Yatagan withdrew once every year for a few months: he conceived Montale's 3,400 annual new releases in silent retreat.
Since one missed now in the Parfumo village Yati on the one hand very much, on the other hand feared, the Montale new publications could take over too much with excessively long seclusion, one decided to look for Yatagan. The oracle of Parfumo, Gleigoline, was consulted, and the answer was given: "Honored brothers and sisters of the nose, waldschrattet through the black Black Forest, wafting through the waves of the Swabian sea to the petrichorbekuhweideten mountain Appenzell!" An expeditionary force was hastily assembled with Appenzell as its destination, under the leadership of the wildest perfumo, Ole W. Chizza. The expedition was joined by Speesuit Spee of the Spree, Polly Norris, a Frisian woman, Loyd the woodsman, and Melisse3 with her bloodied scimitar.
For the 20th day of the month of Hornung, the Parfumo expedition arranged to meet at the border of the country of Appenzell. Appenzell, that fabled realm where there are three first names and two surnames. A land where cows are allowed to vote and choose, while women are still denied this.
The first to arrive was Polly Norris. On foot, not by car, for she was in a hurry. With a basket of Swabian country eggs and a squeeze-box under her wing-arm, for the sustenance and edification of the expeditionary force. Then Loyd forest-scuttled up, with a hockey-bag-sized tobacco-bag, rolling three empty barrels before him. With them he wanted to capture Yatagan and the green fairy that lives in Swiss valleys. Ole W. Chizza, the as always heavily armed Melisse3 and the Speesuit, who carried his exorcism tongs, were also not long in coming. The last to race up was the Frisian from Friesland in her Swedish road cruiser Knut. Since Appenzell is hardly bigger than a well-stocked perfumery, the Frisian didn't catch the last curve correctly and parked Knut on Polly's country eggs and Ole W. Chizza's motorcycle, which now had the dimensions of a tricycle. And one of Loyd's barrels was also small wood. A nasty riot broke out, and if the Speesuit hadn't pinched everyone with his exorcism tongs, the Parfumo troupe would have split into Parfumo Innerrhoden and Parfumo Ausserrhoden.
Since Knut was full of helmets, folding sticks and other Frisian trinkets, the troop now had to move on foot, cackling, barrel-rolling-rolling, encouraged by an occasional exorcism pincer pinch. On the evening of the 20th of Hornung, the Parfumo expedition arrived in Hundwil (named after the national dish of Appenzell). Quickly Bob, the Frisian builder, put together a shelter. The Frisian fed the troop from her Knut galley with cereal bar crumbs, Polly's squeezebox sprinkled the troop with lüpfigen Hudigäggelern (country music) and the Speesuit secretly quarried Loyd's tobacco pocket empty.
Unfortunately, the hut proved to be less than stable and collapsed in the middle of the night. "Good architecture and stability are not mutually dependent!" opined the Frisian. A view that Loyd did not share at all, for he had to lament the loss of another barrel in addition to his daily ration of tobacco. The Parfumo expeditionary force set out that very night and reached Appenzell at dawn on the 21st day of the Hornungs.
The first thing the troop heard was a strong whiff of Montale incense. Yatagan's perfume lab bosom could not be far off, I suppose. A not-too-pious incense, purple-dark, but not as black as a hare's soul. Incense bedded on a warm cedar pyre, its base not yet burnt off but no longer incense green like YS Uzac's BOM behind the ears. Unisex spiced and gender star balanced. At the start, the scent is animated with a pre-Alpine morning chill, sunlit, resinous at the heart, with a balsamic pine robe. Black resin drips from the sky onto the patch earth. An incense aura of the magic of an oriental king's gift, Persian gold like. Not as shy as the nocturnal shadows on the masonry of the southern French papal seat. Rather, floating through the button-nosed cathedral, if only in one dimension, not floating away into transcendence. The Speesuite liked the sacred incense without any rococo airs, so ornamentless that it would please even Melisse3s brother-in-arms Zwingli. Unruffled as eternity, fragrant as the violin varnish of the firmament.
The Parfumo expedition imagined itself close to its destination as it moved into the Appenzell collection of houses. Melisse3 was the first to storm Appenzell's Landsgemeindeplatz with her scimitar drawn, the other Parfumos following her. More collateral damage was caused when Knut parked - Loyd's last barrel was flat as a flounder, and Polly's squeezebox was also more squeeze than still commodious. But the people of Appenzell were heavily impressed by the Parfumo expeditionary force, and the male Appenzellers and the horn-bearing voting public elected them as the new Standeskommission (government of Appenzell). Ole W. Chizza, the first expedition leader to reach Appenzell since the end of the last ice age, became the governing Landammann. Speesuit Spee von der Spree became Stillstehender Landammann, as the dashing exorcist was fond of standing still. Polly became Frau Statthalter, since she considered Appenzell to be a town, and the heavily armed Melisse3 was appointed Frau Landeshauptmann (even today, at the Appenzell Landsgemeinde, the Landsgemeinde sword can be raised as a sign of approval instead of the voting card). The Frisian chose the office of Frau Säckelmeister because she found the official name teasing and naked hiking is a popular sport in Appenzell - Zipfelstürmer ahoy. Knut, as the only one in possession of a folding rule, was elected Appenzell builder. And last but not least, Loyd was appointed the new national ensign. Although he found neither Yatagan nor the green fairy, the Appenzeller Alpenbitter made him the first flag bearer in the country of Appenzell.
And so the expeditionary force in Parfumo Innerrhoden lived happily for many years to come. Meanwhile, in Parfumo Ausserrhoden, the phantom Pierre Montale was once again not caught.
Since one missed now in the Parfumo village Yati on the one hand very much, on the other hand feared, the Montale new publications could take over too much with excessively long seclusion, one decided to look for Yatagan. The oracle of Parfumo, Gleigoline, was consulted, and the answer was given: "Honored brothers and sisters of the nose, waldschrattet through the black Black Forest, wafting through the waves of the Swabian sea to the petrichorbekuhweideten mountain Appenzell!" An expeditionary force was hastily assembled with Appenzell as its destination, under the leadership of the wildest perfumo, Ole W. Chizza. The expedition was joined by Speesuit Spee of the Spree, Polly Norris, a Frisian woman, Loyd the woodsman, and Melisse3 with her bloodied scimitar.
For the 20th day of the month of Hornung, the Parfumo expedition arranged to meet at the border of the country of Appenzell. Appenzell, that fabled realm where there are three first names and two surnames. A land where cows are allowed to vote and choose, while women are still denied this.
The first to arrive was Polly Norris. On foot, not by car, for she was in a hurry. With a basket of Swabian country eggs and a squeeze-box under her wing-arm, for the sustenance and edification of the expeditionary force. Then Loyd forest-scuttled up, with a hockey-bag-sized tobacco-bag, rolling three empty barrels before him. With them he wanted to capture Yatagan and the green fairy that lives in Swiss valleys. Ole W. Chizza, the as always heavily armed Melisse3 and the Speesuit, who carried his exorcism tongs, were also not long in coming. The last to race up was the Frisian from Friesland in her Swedish road cruiser Knut. Since Appenzell is hardly bigger than a well-stocked perfumery, the Frisian didn't catch the last curve correctly and parked Knut on Polly's country eggs and Ole W. Chizza's motorcycle, which now had the dimensions of a tricycle. And one of Loyd's barrels was also small wood. A nasty riot broke out, and if the Speesuit hadn't pinched everyone with his exorcism tongs, the Parfumo troupe would have split into Parfumo Innerrhoden and Parfumo Ausserrhoden.
Since Knut was full of helmets, folding sticks and other Frisian trinkets, the troop now had to move on foot, cackling, barrel-rolling-rolling, encouraged by an occasional exorcism pincer pinch. On the evening of the 20th of Hornung, the Parfumo expedition arrived in Hundwil (named after the national dish of Appenzell). Quickly Bob, the Frisian builder, put together a shelter. The Frisian fed the troop from her Knut galley with cereal bar crumbs, Polly's squeezebox sprinkled the troop with lüpfigen Hudigäggelern (country music) and the Speesuit secretly quarried Loyd's tobacco pocket empty.
Unfortunately, the hut proved to be less than stable and collapsed in the middle of the night. "Good architecture and stability are not mutually dependent!" opined the Frisian. A view that Loyd did not share at all, for he had to lament the loss of another barrel in addition to his daily ration of tobacco. The Parfumo expeditionary force set out that very night and reached Appenzell at dawn on the 21st day of the Hornungs.
The first thing the troop heard was a strong whiff of Montale incense. Yatagan's perfume lab bosom could not be far off, I suppose. A not-too-pious incense, purple-dark, but not as black as a hare's soul. Incense bedded on a warm cedar pyre, its base not yet burnt off but no longer incense green like YS Uzac's BOM behind the ears. Unisex spiced and gender star balanced. At the start, the scent is animated with a pre-Alpine morning chill, sunlit, resinous at the heart, with a balsamic pine robe. Black resin drips from the sky onto the patch earth. An incense aura of the magic of an oriental king's gift, Persian gold like. Not as shy as the nocturnal shadows on the masonry of the southern French papal seat. Rather, floating through the button-nosed cathedral, if only in one dimension, not floating away into transcendence. The Speesuite liked the sacred incense without any rococo airs, so ornamentless that it would please even Melisse3s brother-in-arms Zwingli. Unruffled as eternity, fragrant as the violin varnish of the firmament.
The Parfumo expedition imagined itself close to its destination as it moved into the Appenzell collection of houses. Melisse3 was the first to storm Appenzell's Landsgemeindeplatz with her scimitar drawn, the other Parfumos following her. More collateral damage was caused when Knut parked - Loyd's last barrel was flat as a flounder, and Polly's squeezebox was also more squeeze than still commodious. But the people of Appenzell were heavily impressed by the Parfumo expeditionary force, and the male Appenzellers and the horn-bearing voting public elected them as the new Standeskommission (government of Appenzell). Ole W. Chizza, the first expedition leader to reach Appenzell since the end of the last ice age, became the governing Landammann. Speesuit Spee von der Spree became Stillstehender Landammann, as the dashing exorcist was fond of standing still. Polly became Frau Statthalter, since she considered Appenzell to be a town, and the heavily armed Melisse3 was appointed Frau Landeshauptmann (even today, at the Appenzell Landsgemeinde, the Landsgemeinde sword can be raised as a sign of approval instead of the voting card). The Frisian chose the office of Frau Säckelmeister because she found the official name teasing and naked hiking is a popular sport in Appenzell - Zipfelstürmer ahoy. Knut, as the only one in possession of a folding rule, was elected Appenzell builder. And last but not least, Loyd was appointed the new national ensign. Although he found neither Yatagan nor the green fairy, the Appenzeller Alpenbitter made him the first flag bearer in the country of Appenzell.
And so the expeditionary force in Parfumo Innerrhoden lived happily for many years to come. Meanwhile, in Parfumo Ausserrhoden, the phantom Pierre Montale was once again not caught.
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