Vanilla absolute
Animalic notes
Indian vanilla
Sandalwood
Jasmine absolute
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jasperdezoet
17 Reviews
jasperdezoet
10
Stop that. Get some help.
Sit down everyone, I’m going to tell you about my high school days.
When I was taking 10th grade biology class, we had a unit where we were expected to get into groups. Each group was then allotted one (1) dead fetal pig that we would collectively dissect. I’m not sure if this fucked-up team-building exercise is exclusive to American public schools or if fragheads worldwide can relate and shudder, but I digress…
Anywho, the pigs fetuses came sealed in plastic and marinated in formaldehyde. It’s hard to put the smell of formaldehyde into words, other than it’s what I would call an “emetic wonder” of scents. It’s like if full-strength rubbing alcohol were mixed with every ripe body fluid possible and then left out in the hot sun in a jar for a few months.
What does all this have to do with Vanilla Sex? Dear reader, it has EVERYTHING to do with Vanilla Sex.
Vanilla Sex is essentially what would happen if you siphoned out all that dead fetal pig juice and then dumped some vanilla extract into it.
I do not know what kind of sex Mr. Ford is having, but clearly he must be stopped at all costs.
If Vanilla Sex weren’t so gosh darn costly, I would have at least recommended that every parent with young children keep a bottle on hand in case of an emergency. If little Timmy has swallowed a tide pod and Poison Control Center says he needs to cough it back up, this could save his life.
When I was taking 10th grade biology class, we had a unit where we were expected to get into groups. Each group was then allotted one (1) dead fetal pig that we would collectively dissect. I’m not sure if this fucked-up team-building exercise is exclusive to American public schools or if fragheads worldwide can relate and shudder, but I digress…
Anywho, the pigs fetuses came sealed in plastic and marinated in formaldehyde. It’s hard to put the smell of formaldehyde into words, other than it’s what I would call an “emetic wonder” of scents. It’s like if full-strength rubbing alcohol were mixed with every ripe body fluid possible and then left out in the hot sun in a jar for a few months.
What does all this have to do with Vanilla Sex? Dear reader, it has EVERYTHING to do with Vanilla Sex.
Vanilla Sex is essentially what would happen if you siphoned out all that dead fetal pig juice and then dumped some vanilla extract into it.
I do not know what kind of sex Mr. Ford is having, but clearly he must be stopped at all costs.
If Vanilla Sex weren’t so gosh darn costly, I would have at least recommended that every parent with young children keep a bottle on hand in case of an emergency. If little Timmy has swallowed a tide pod and Poison Control Center says he needs to cough it back up, this could save his life.
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