La Ravissante, the Charming, the Delightful, the Knock-me-down-Sweet!
This is how I remember the deeply rooted lessons from my French teacher.
“Voici un mot, élève Axïaumatique, traduisez s.v.p.”
She would name a word, and I had to translate.
But the fragrance at hand digs deeper into long-forgotten chapters of my innocent encounter with the Gallic language.
My dears, we are greeted by the scent of one of the most excruciating lessons!
It won't be easy, but I hope you all enjoy the well-deserved break in the fresh air later!
MDCI - the Roman 1601 - I had remembered very beautifully.
Chypre Palatin has been excellently crafted by the perfumer Bertrand Duchaufour. A bit powdery perhaps, but splendidly composed.
However, what is being served here leaves the realm of high perfumery.
Here, there is a blatant look-at-me attitude of the first order.
And with cream, I am not wrong, with what my nose will very nasally glue up.
All fragrance components perform a dance of horror as soon as the concoction touches the skin.
The loudest white musk of France will set the rhythm here.
And here I am at my unresolved torture in the form of “Madame lave-tout.”
That fictional cleaning dynamo served as a model for the CORRECT pronunciation of the particles “gn” in French.
To make it short, Madame Compulsive Cleaning had to drive from her apartment at the Paris Porte de Clignancourt to the supermarket to buy laundry and cleaning supplies.
Yes, and during the drive, she meticulously paid attention to the CORRECT signaling - clignoter.
The laundry detergent brand, how could it be otherwise, was called Le Mignon - the Cute.
Attention chers parfoumaux, the fragrance has more to offer!
A cascade of fruit substitutes pours out in pastel pink and mauve!
The fragrance pyramid lists marshmallow very aptly. In French, the chewy mass is called Guimauve.
And here one already suspects that the aforementioned Karries recommendation was previously derived from components of a mallow.
A little more botany and voila, we arrive at the musk mallow.
And exactly that is what is booming here. Penetratingly sweet, sticky, somewhat floral, and definitely musk-heavy.
The ozonic notes (Ozone “smells” sharp and chlorine-like) elevate the laundry note of the musk in the brew. As if one wanted to wash whiter than white.
A jasmine reminds one not to forget the underwear.
Please do not be alarmed, I have long shed the false shame.
My teacher was quite unorthodox when she talked about old France.
Especially when it came to human necessities, she was very pragmatic.
“Back then, women would lift their long skirts slightly while standing, while men preferred the walls of houses.”
Douce France, cher pays de mon enfance…
Charles Trenet, where are you when you need him most?
Sniff…
Back to Madame lave-tout.
In hindsight, I think I dealt with a sick soul. If I understand correctly, psychological deviations usually manifest in compulsive behavior. Here, her cleaning obsession.
Well, the lady in question cleans the entire apartment, yes, even the chestnuts for the cake - châtaignes.
And as it must come to pass, the cat grumbles and hisses - rogner, while her husband accidentally ends up in the washing machine - le lave-linge. (A perfidious rearrangement of letters from gn to ng.)
In the end, the sparkling clean husband must eat delicious kidneys for strength - des rognons.
Fortunately, the fragrance contains no offal note, but rather a powerful chemical cream-wood factory. Following the motto: tree for moisturizing.
All in all, a powerful wash cycle of sticky laundry with sweets and artificial flowers.
What a relief that the energy-saving quick wash cycle was chosen; the scent lasts “only” a good four hours.
But it can be smelled as far as Koblenz, Karlsruhe, and Frankfurt.
Ding-a-ling-a-ling!
The lesson is over!
Buuut…
As homework, I give you the interpretation of the lady on the bottle.
Is it perhaps Eugénie, the wife of Napoleon?
Alors mes élèves, la classe est terminée!
Merci chère Poulette - Pollita, my fragrance horizon has been significantly expanded.