05/23/2025

ClaireV
958 Reviews

ClaireV
3
Simple sugar
Bianco Latte has whipped up one of those Internet-based hype storms that never last but still manage to pull an extraordinary number of people into its wake while it’s happening. So, of course, I was curious to smell it. Having smelled it, I can only ask why are some y’all so basic? Why train your taste up – and possibly stop there – on sugary vanilla bombs like this that are only 1.5 steps removed from Pink Sugar or a vanilla candle you can pick up at Aldi?
Adding to the meh-ness of it all is a sour, rubbery lactonic note that smells like curdled milk to me but may possibly smell like caramel to others. It is also offensively sweet and devoid of nuance. I can never really distinguish between stuff like this, Pink Sugar, and Billy Eilish No. 1 – milky-sweet, monotone, full of simple sugar molecules, a bit burnt or artificial-smelling at times – but Bianco Latte comes with a price tag to match its hype, so I am even less willing to go easy on it.
None of us should be spending $150 for perfume that smells like it cost 50 cents to produce. Bianco Latte is built on synthetic vanilla and lactonic notes that you buy off the shelf in bulk from the fragrance and flavour factories, and not some super expensive vanilla extract squeezed from freshly picked vanilla pods on a Madagascan plantation. It’s built cheap and it smells cheap. If Bianco Latte were turned into an actual dessert, 10 out of 10 Italians would send it right back to the kitchen. Think about that for a second. Let’s have higher standards for what we spray on our skin.
Adding to the meh-ness of it all is a sour, rubbery lactonic note that smells like curdled milk to me but may possibly smell like caramel to others. It is also offensively sweet and devoid of nuance. I can never really distinguish between stuff like this, Pink Sugar, and Billy Eilish No. 1 – milky-sweet, monotone, full of simple sugar molecules, a bit burnt or artificial-smelling at times – but Bianco Latte comes with a price tag to match its hype, so I am even less willing to go easy on it.
None of us should be spending $150 for perfume that smells like it cost 50 cents to produce. Bianco Latte is built on synthetic vanilla and lactonic notes that you buy off the shelf in bulk from the fragrance and flavour factories, and not some super expensive vanilla extract squeezed from freshly picked vanilla pods on a Madagascan plantation. It’s built cheap and it smells cheap. If Bianco Latte were turned into an actual dessert, 10 out of 10 Italians would send it right back to the kitchen. Think about that for a second. Let’s have higher standards for what we spray on our skin.
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