Patchouli Magnetik Maison Crivelli 2022

I was hesitating to write a review on this as I like the brand Maison Crivelli so much. But hey if you look at it positively it’s just a unique piece of art that they created here. Would I hang it on my wall though? Hell no!

My story with the perfume takes us back to the day before new years eve. I just got the discovery set and I was dying to try this one. It’s polarizing but hey I’m pretty much in love with patchouli so how bad could it be right? Oh my gosh the stench, it’s probably that white peach note that’s so dominant it chokes you. Don’t think this is sweet and fruity, it’s damp and heavy.

Leave it a couple of hours they said. It’ll get better they said. Well it got worse. Next day was new years eve right? And even though I had a shower and I had been standing next to a bonfire for a while, I got people to complain about a weird smell all the time. And I knew exactly what it was because I still smelled it myself too.

Never again.

We were at Globus with a friend because we didn't feel like studying for our exams, and we tested about twenty perfumes, some not so good, some better, and we have a good resistance to smells, so we're not really sensitive per se, and I thought I'd found the worst perfume I'd ever smelled in my life, I even made her smell it (nero oudh tiziana terenzi, but that's only because I don't like oud, objectively it's not a bad perfume).

A few fragrances later, we arrive at the Crivelli house, testing some new ones, some good, some bad.

We're testing this one,

I'll say it again: we're not sensitive to smells.

TRAUMATIC, NO KIDDING, REALLY.

IT'S THE WORST PERFUME WE'VE EVER TESTED IN OUR LIVES.

I took 5 steps backwards by reflexe, because it burned my nostrils.
My friend, on the other hand, was holding back from vomiting, I could see her gag reflex coming, I was looking for a trash can so she could puke in it if necessary, fortunately it didn't happen, but it would have been a response worthy of the smell.

We're drama queens in general, yeah, I'll totally admit it, but this wasn't drama, this was 100% honesty.
It was the WORST scent we've ever smelled in our lives.

I don't even want to concentrate too much on remembering the smell and trying to describe it, but it smelled like a mixture of compost rotting in the sun, a decomposing body, a ruined house filled with black mold, etcætera. And the worst part is that it doesn't make any sense, because there aren't any notes listed that I don't like.

But really the WORST perfume we've ever tested in our lives, and I've tested over 500...

I've officially found the worst perfume I've ever tried in my life, at least that was useful for that.

I received this sample as extra when I bought the Maison Crivelli discovery set.

I liked two out of three samples I tried before this one, so I did not look at the notes or any info about the fragrance. It was a cold autumn day and I was craving patchouli, so I (stupidly or courageously?) spritzed generously twice - once my wrist, and once the sleeve of my cardi.

Oh boy.

I am okay with unusual scents, but this one is something else...It tricks you with its dusty patchouli but then it attacks you with unbearable sickly sweetness.
I can manage the scent of a dusty basement, but the big sticky, syrupy puddle growing bigger and deeper in the middle of the said dusty basement was too much for me. The juxtaposition of these two made me shudder, throw off my cardi and wash off my wrist frenetically (spoiler alert: the dusty syrup imprinted itself into my skin for the next 24 hours).

The horror: a vanillic, thick peach syrup that turned into something monstrous.
The movie "The fly" comes to mind - the frag that dreamt of being real but then woke up to the harsh reality of its own monstrosity. It will eat you alive.

Maybe it's my skin chemistry. Maybe it's my memory of an old bottle of a peach-based Eau Jeune that half-evaporated and turned because I forgot it on top of the heating (sacrilege but hey I was just a kid) sometimes back in the 90s. Maybe someone else will love it. Maybe, maybe, I admit that had I read that it was made by Quentin Bisch I would have been more careful as his frags are hit or miss with me...

J'ai acquis ce parfum récemment, après avoir regardé une vidéo sur Youtube
la variété des notes et le combo subtil que cela produit est vraiment beau
Chaque note a un juste équilibre parfait
Sillage flottant, présent dans être trop étouffant ou écoeurant
Merci à la maison crivelli et chapeau Mr Bisch

Ok. I dont know why patchouli magnetik is "8.3 sillage and 8.5 longivity " rated in this moment (31.10.24) this is absolutely hilarious, lmao. The thing is at least 8.8 sillage and 9.0 longivity. And this is if you have strong trained nose . Otherwise its like 9.5 sillage and 10 longivity. Trust me on this one . Scent in amazing chocolate patchouli with peachy notes . Dont trust its disgusting, its beautiful